Tropic Press: J.C. Bruce: Miss Mingo

ASK THE BIRD: Is it true that Miss Mingo just won a big award for her Tropic Press columns?

Sat, 05 Sep 2026 10:02:12 GMT

Editor’s Note: We take a break from hard news every Saturday morning to let Hermina Hermelinda Obregon, a.k.a. Miss Mingo, share her insights with readers. She’s a recovering newspaper reporter living in a bungalow off Duval Street in Key West. At least that’s what her official biography says, if you can believe that. She answers the pressing questions of the day about life, the news, and the best happy hour prices.

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DEAR MISS MINGO:

I have a reporter friend who tells me that you just won some big-time journalism award. Can you tell us about that?

Happy For You in Hialeah

Dear Happy:

I’m pretty happy about it, too.

Yes, my column won First Place in the annual Sunshine State Awards of the Florida chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists.

It was in the category of: Blog, Newsletter & Digital-First Writing.

I’m especially pleased considering all the terrific journalists we have in Florida. It’s an honor to be included among them.

Speaking of which, you don’t have to take my word for it. Check out this list of winners, and what I think you’ll appreciate is that there is a lot of great print, digital and broadcast journalism happening here:

List of Sunshine State Awards winners

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Does this make you the first avian journalism award winner? Or maybe was there a carrier pigeon or some other bird so honored before you?

Puzzled in Pinellas

Dear Puzzled:

Um, you know I’m not a bird, right? No matter how the crazy editors at Tropic Press choose to illustrate each of these columns. Miss Mingo is just — excuse my French — my Nom de plume.

Actually, if you read the fine print in my biography, you may also have some questions about my reality at all.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Nom de plume! Plume! Really? That is very punny!

LOL in Lakeland

Dear LOL:

No, really, that’s what pen names are called in French. I wouldn’t make up something like that! (Well, I would, but I didn’t have to.) Not sure, but it’s an expression that’s been around for ages, probably dating all the way back to when writers used quill pens which were, of course, made from feathers.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

If we’re done with all this self-congratulatory promotion—nice that you got a writing award and all, but maybe you should get back to actually writing? So, here’s a legit question to get you started:

Is it true that Donald Trump plans to force all his Cabinet members to start wearing Trump wigs?

They already seem to worship him, so wouldn’t this be a logical next step? They could be just like members of the British Parliament, since they seem to treat Trump like their monarch.

Sarcastic in Sarasota

Dear Sarcastic:

Actually, members of Parliament stopped wearing wigs a while back. In fairness, I didn’t know that, either, until I did a little digging in order to answer your question.

I would put nothing past Trump, though. He likes to spread his brand over everything, like a stray dog marking his territory, although less pleasant smelling.

He did, in fact, buy dress shoes—Florsheims—for his Cabinet members—and seems to have gotten the sizes wrong, which is why they walk around like they’re wearing clown shoes.

And what other footwear should clowns wear, anyway?

Meet Miss Mingo

Got a question for Miss Mingo? About life, the news, or clever ways to avoid paying bar tabs? Write to her at MissMingo@Tropic.Press

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Want to know more about Miss Mingo? How she got her start? And whether she really lives with two cats—Deadline and Dateline—and a pet iguana named Skippy? You can find her official biography, such as it is, here. If you’re bar hopping on Duval Street in Key West and spot an intriguing woman in a pink hat that you suspect might be Miss Mingo, you can always offer to buy her a Cuba Libre. Will it actually be her? Is there an actual her? Life’s a mystery.

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ASK THE BIRD: How worried should we be about Trump renaming all these bodies of water?

Sat, 29 Aug 2026 10:01:59 GMT

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DEAR MISS MINGO:

Now that the Orange Trouser Stain has issued an executive order renaming Lake Ontario to Lake America, will all the textbooks in U.S. schools have to be changed? Oh, and did everyone have to get new geography books when that idiot earlier renamed the Gulf of Mexico? And how worried should we be about his behavior, which strikes me as slightly odd?

Nameless in Niceville

Dear Nameless:

Slightly odd?

As in Jeffrey Dahmer’s table manners were slightly rude? Or Genghis Khan had a small anger management issue? Or George Santos has a tiny honesty challenge?

Let’s call a spade a spade. Donald Trump is out of his ever-loving mind. He’s nuts. Over the edge. Bonkers. He should no more be entrusted with the power of the presidency than a misbehaving toddler should be given a lit stick of dynamite.

But to your larger question.

Textbooks in some red states were indeed changed after Trump issued an executive order renaming the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America. Florida is singled out in that regard because Trump’s Mini Me in the governor’s mansion, Ron DeSantis, was tickled to follow suit and signed legislation requiring the state’s textbooks be revised to include the new moniker.

It should be noted that executive orders by Trump or shiftless governors are pure poppycock and political stunts. It’s still the Gulf of Mexico, and it’s still Lake Ontario. Trump or DeSantis or whichever interchangeable MAGA part can scrawl all the orders they want—and they can force their flunkies to follow those orders—but they have utterly no meaning to the rest of the world and will, soon, hopefully, be reversed when the adults return to the room

I do wonder, though, if Trump gave a heads-up through his new Truth Social “early warning” scheme to Wall Street investors that he was about to take a Sharpie to the map again. I can only imagine textbook makers rejoicing, knowing that at least in some states they now get to sell revised textbooks.

But that’s just me being cynical.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

I’m sure you’ll be getting lots of questions on this topic, but I have to wonder if this Lake Ontario business isn’t deja vu all over again. Don’t the Canadians control passage through portions of the Great Lakes? Like Iran controls the Strait of Hormuz? Didn’t Trump learn anything?

Mystified in Merritt Island

Dear Mystified:

Yes, they do, and no, he didn’t.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Who was Jeffrey Dahmer? Sorry, but I was in a coma for several years and I’m just catching up.

Ill in Islamorada

Dear Ill:

Hope you are feeling better. When you think bat-shit crazy, you think Jeffrey Dahmer. He was a serial killer and cannibal who was beaten to death by a fellow prisoner in 1994. Before his incarceration, Dahmer spent years killing 17 men and boys and eating them. When he was finally arrested, cops found four intact human heads in his freezer. He redefined what it meant to be invited over for dinner.

Mentioning Trump and Dahmer in the same breath does not imply their behaviors mirror one another. There is no evidence whatsoever that Trump has eaten any of his victims nor that he has personally killed anyone. He has ICE agents and missiles for that.

Best we can tell, his diet consists of Big Macs with their “all-beef” patties. Which explains how he has gained 23 pounds over the past three years.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

You used the phrase “call a spade a spade.” That must be something older people say because I have never heard of it. Where does that saying come from?

Young in Yeehaw Junction

Dear Young:

Oh, to be young again especially in Yeehaw Junction.

Despite what some people may think, it has nothing to do with playing cards. The saying comes from ancient Greece, where the historian Plutarch used the phrase: “To call a fig a fig and a trough a trough.”

This got mistranslated by someone who thought “trough” was a digging tool and became a “spade.” And it stuck.

So, yes, it is a phrase used by older people. Very older people.

Got a question for Miss Mingo? About life, the news, or the origin of ancient idioms? Write to her at MissMingo@Tropic.Press.

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ASK THE BIRD: How can we ‘86’ these attacks on the First Amendment?

Sat, 22 Aug 2026 10:01:54 GMT

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DEAR MISS MINGO:

Why hasn’t anyone – in the media or out – recognized that during the Biden term, the number 8646 was being actively merchandised but nobody was prosecuted? Bing search. Still today.

William E “Bill” Thompson

Dear Bill:

You mean like these ads I just pulled off Amazon:

And, yes, as far as I know, nobody is going to prison for this. We have this thing called the First Amendment here in the United States, which protects freedom of expression. So, why is Trump’s Justice Department prosecuting former FBI Director James B. Comey for arranging these seashells on the sand?

Because Trump hates him for other reasons and he’s abusing the power of his office to turn the Justice Department into his personal revenge machine—you know, the kind of stuff dictators do all the time.

Which is why we absolutely need to 8647. Through impeachment.

And it’s why you can go on the very same Amazon and get your own 8647 hats and tee shirts right now if you want. And, as far as I know, nobody’s going to jail for selling them. And they are being merchandised on a website owned by Trump’s good buddy Jeff Bezos.

Astonishingly, Comey is still facing the trumped-up charges that he was trying to encourage a hit on the commander-in-chief. It is a national disgrace.

Really, as my Uncle Meyer used to say, it’s enough to make a bird take to drinking.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

I have a question about Natalie Harp. You know, the blonde that Georgia Sen. Jon Ossoff said about her and Trump:

"He doesn't want to do the job. He wants to build his ballroom and travel with Natalie on their apparently defenseless flying palace gifted by the Emir of Qatar."

They call her the Human Printer because as she stalks Trump, she’s all the time running off favorable news items to shove in his face to keep his ego puffed up.

Here’s my question: What kind of printer does she use?

Techno in Tallahassee

Dear Techno:

According to Gizmodo, it’s an Epson WorkForce WF-10 Wireless Mobile Printer. It goes for about $350. On Amazon. Same site that sells the 8647 tee shirts.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Actually, using rubbing alcohol for deodorant does seem to be a likely habit for RFK Jr. I can only imagine the intense stinging that results from its application. He likely enjoys (it) then the resulting high from licking it off… I anxiously await the video!

I wouldn’t blame this on his unfortunate brain worm, which might have died from starvation, but also could have simply been horrified at the surroundings and committed suicide.

Although the amount of sick humor is somewhat entertaining, it will be a great relief when the Republicans and their venomous hatred have gone the way of the worm.

Me again!

Dear Me Again!

I remember you. You’re the one who asked last week’s question about whether the rumors were true that RFK Jr., in fact, advocated using Isopropyl alcohol as a deodorant. Just for the record, in case anyone reading this missed my answer: No, that isn’t true. On the other hand, he did confess to snorting cocaine off toilet seats.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

It is a well-known fact that alcohol kills the microbes that cause underarm odor. And it doesn’t smell after a minute or two after application. Tried it on a horse camping trip after the vet leading it suggested it. It works.

Chris Ashley

Dear Chris:

Yep. Definitely kills germs, which, in addition to causing infections, can also lead to body odor. I’m not here to judge, just to set the record straight.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

You mentioned your Uncle Meyer earlier in the column. Is this the same Meyer who used to be Travis McGee’s best friend? I may be losing it, but I seem to recall you having mentioned that before.

Doc F.

Dear Doc:

Yes. And I did recount that in an earlier column in response to a comment from a reader. You can see it here.

Got a question for Miss Mingo? About life, the news, or multi-dimensional realities? Write to her at MissMingo@Tropic.Press.

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DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND, the official Tropic Press Store is now open and ready for business. You can order your very own Miss Mingo merch online. All sales are final. Check out the store here:

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ASK THE BIRD: Did RFK really suggest using rubbing alcohol as a deodorant?

Sat, 15 Aug 2026 10:01:31 GMT

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DEAR MISS MINGO:

A friend of mine says she viewed a social media “influencer” claim that (Health and Human Services Secretary) Robert F. Kennedy uses rubbing alcohol to deodorize his foul smelling body parts. Is this true?

Amused in Alachua County

Dear Amused:

Is it true that some clickbait nitwit on social media might have said this? I don’t know, but it wouldn’t surprise me. The garbage floating around online is appalling.

As to the underlying question, did RFK make any such statement? Best I can tell, no.

It is true that he confessed to being a heroin addict for 14 years. He has also said he’s not afraid of germs after snorting cocaine off toilet seats. It’s also factual that he drove around with a dead bear in his trunk and that he collects beached whale heads. Yes, he suffers from cognitive issues because of a worm in his brain, and he’s a famous anti-science vaccine skeptic. But there is no evidence that he rubs alcohol under his arms or in his nether regions to deodorize.

It is possible that with all the cutting and pasting and AI-generated graphics swirling around on the internet that this has become conflated with another frequent Do-It-Yourself hack suggesting rubbing alcohol is a great way to kill odor-causing bacteria. And it is.

But then you walk around smelling like an infirmary, so I guess it’s a choice.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Thank you for printing the letter below. Your gentle approach is much appreciated.

Regarding the often unsung women in government I can think of two words that accurately describe what has made improvements in government and of which we need more: Black Women. They seem to be consistently honest and fierce while maintaining control and good manners.

It’s time that the geldings in government are put out to pasture. They’re too lazy for racing and have nothing worthwhile to pass on by stud.

Hope you caught your boat and the vacay is a goodie. And don’t write any number combinations in the sand with shells!! ;-)

Bruce Cornely, G’ville Fl

Dear Bruce:

You are referring, of course, to a previous column in which the Ball Seed Co. was referenced and in which I noted that:

“…there are plenty of women out there with guts enough to stand up to Trump, including the last Democratic presidential nominee.” The full column can be found here.

I would certainly agree with the overarching notion that we need more people in government—women or men, Black or white, whomever—who are willing to speak out against injustice and corruption. And I agree that too many career politicians—of both parties—are hanging on long past their expiration dates.

Women hold 28 percent of the seats in Congress, obviously far less than their proportion of the population. Since you mention Black women specifically, there are only 29, or 5.4 percent of all congressional members.

I did a little research, and I feel compelled to note that while we might agree those numbers need improvement, they have, in fact, grown over time.

For instance, in the 106th Congress—the last of the 20th century—there were 65 women who were voting members in the House and Senate. Today there are 151—110 are Democrats, 41 are Republicans.

As for my vacay, I honestly didn’t even think to arrange on the beach:

What a lost opportunity! Then again, we have plenty of sand and seashells here in Key West, so it’s never too late for a little shoreline freedom of expression.

Thanks for writing. It’s good to be back.

Got a question for Miss Mingo? About life, the news, or multi-dimensional realities? Write to her at MissMingo@Tropic.Press.

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ASK THE BIRD: Life imitates art as Trump plays Goldfinger -- but pity the cat

Sat, 01 Aug 2026 10:03:21 GMT

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NOTE TO READERS:

I was on my way out the door to catch a boat—off on vacay—when these last-minute questions hit my inbox. I just couldn’t let them sit unanswered while I was off playing. See you in a couple of weeks.

M.M.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Being an older broad who just loved James Bond Films, I can’t believe no one else has written about the INCREDIBLE similarities between President Donald Trump and the famous villain GOLDFINGER. It’s worth watching the movie again! The HAIR, the FAT BODY, the SLOPPY ILL-FITTING SUITS, the MEANNESS and CRUELTY.

Google GOLDFINGER and read that he was obsessed with all things GOLD…even covering women in gold paint! He amassed all the gold bars that he could and hoarded them in many countries (never paying taxes on them). He was entirely self-centered and also obsessed with…wait for it…..GOLF!! And we can all remember his infamous henchman OddJob.

Oh, I just noticed something. OddJob contains the letters DOJ, another personal henchman!

Regards,
Older broad in Tampa

Dear Older:

While I enjoyed the flicks, I’m actually more of a fan of the original Ian Fleming novels. I would note that while moviegoers may remember that a recurring Bond villain—Ernst Stavro Blofeld—had a white cat that he was constantly petting, the actual cat Fleming wrote about was, in fact, in Goldfinger.

It was not a pure white feline like in the movies, but ginger colored (goldish), and Goldfinger hated it.

Hated it so much that he gave the cat to OddJob for dinner.

So, to continue your brilliant parallels between Trump and Goldfinger, that is also a purrfect fit.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Ya know all those seeds that are available to make us healthy, like Apple seeds, Pumpkin seeds, Chia, Flaxseed and on and on. Do you think if the Republicans in the House and Senate dined on Ball Seeds, they might possibly grow a set? Perhaps we could check on availability at the Ball Seed Company.

Best Regards,
Rick Stead

Dear Rick:

I wasn’t sure about printing this letter as I’m always a little squeamish about references to genitalia (yes, I realize this makes me a little old-fashioned). But I do get that this is less literally anatomical than a metaphorical allusion to courage. That said, I would quickly note that while a reference to males, there are plenty of women out there with guts enough to stand up to Trump, including the last Democratic presidential nominee. So, there is a part of me that wishes we could move past this manocentric reference.

That said, I was curious. And I discovered that there is, in fact, a Ball Seed Company, something I did not know. But then, I’m not much of a gardener. So, thanks for the enlightenment.

Okay, I’m out the door.

Got a question for Miss Mingo? About life, the news, or multi-dimensional realities? Write to her at MissMingo@Tropic.Press. She’ll be back from vacation in a couple of weeks.

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ASK THE BIRD: Do you think the president might change his mind if we named it Trump Wind?

Sat, 25 Jul 2026 10:01:11 GMT

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DEAR MISS MINGO:

As someone who supports all things democratic – you know, activities that are related to protecting our democracy – and also someone who is deeply concerned about the environment, I understand that these are not necessarily acceptable under the current administration in Washington.

However, I have relatives who live in the Chicago and Buffalo areas, and I am concerned about the wildfires in Canada and their impact on the air quality in these two cities amongst others.

I was going to strongly encourage Mr. Trump (alas it is difficult to refer to him as President when he is so unpresidential) to abandon his plan to impose tariffs on Canada, and instead to fund the construction of wind farms along the US/Canadian border to blow the smoke from those wildfires back into Canada.

However, I remembered that Mr. Trump doesn’t like wind farms.

Therefore, an alternative that might intrigue him would be to install giant gold fans (instead). It could be called Trump Wind!

Do you think this will work?

Pat

Dear Pat:

It’s certainly true that Trump has made it very clear that he does not like windmills of any sort.

It started when those pesky Scots constructed wind turbines offshore from one of his golf courses, and he objected to them ruining the ambience of his links.

Appearances are very important to Trump. Witness how impeccably he dresses with his vast selection of red ties, and how carefully he applies his hand makeup, glues down his combover, and maintains his amazing orange tan.

He’s a disaster as a leader, but he knows about show business and looking the part, and for him it’s always just an act. He should have stuck with filming The Apprentice; it was perfect for him. He could pretend he knew what he was doing, bask in the limelight, and never have any real responsibility.

But I digress.

I really think you are onto something about those gold fans. He has this Midas-like obsession. Not so sure about blowing wind back to Canada, but maybe if the Acme Wind Farm Co. came up with a line of gigantic gold-plated fans, he’d go for it.

Especially if it was named after him. Good call! He’s already plastered his name on everything else, why not the atmosphere?

I’ll bet he’d immediately forget about how windmills cause cancer, how they’re responsible for the diarrhea epidemic, and most likely his low poll numbers, too. Flattery will get you anywhere with that narcissist.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

I read in the newspaper that the U.S. House of Representatives has voted to end the war in Iran, but that the Senate won’t go along with that idea. Why not?

Puzzled in Pinellas Park

Dear Puzzled:

Republicans control both the House and the Senate. In the House, a small handful of Republicans jumped ship and joined with the Democrats in opposition to the undeclared—and, in my opinion, illegal—war.

There are not enough votes in the Senate, however, where Trump has done an effective job of threatening Republicans with the end of their political lives if they don’t toe the line.

Many of those Republicans are in desperate need of spine replacements or plexiotomies.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

I get the reference to spine replacements, as in, they are spineless, but what the heck is a plexiotomy? I couldn’t find it anywhere on Google.

You Can Call Me Gray

Dear Gray:

Cute. As in Gray’s Anatomy? Or is it a typo and you’re really Gary? Whatever. A plexiotomy is a surgical procedure in which a sheet of Plexiglass is used to replace the skin and musculature of the abdomen.

It allows people who are walking around with their heads up their derrieres to see where they’re going.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Okay, that was funny. Did you just make that up?

Curious in Clearwater

Dear Curious:

No. It’s an old joke. Speaking of old jokes, have you heard this one:

Q: Do you know what the secret is for senior citizens to have a smoking hot body?

A: Cremation.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Isn’t that ageism?

Woke in Wauchula

Dear Woke:

You are, of course, politically correct. My apologies. I really don’t know what gets into me sometimes. I’m thinking maybe I need a vacay.

In fact, now that this has come up, I believe I will do just that. I’ve got a couple weeks’ worth of paid leave accumulated. I’m outta here until August 15.

Send me your questions, so I have something to come back to. See you then!

Got a question for Miss Mingo? About life, the news, or multi-dimensional realities? Write to her at MissMingo@Tropic.Press. She’ll be back in action on August 15.

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ASK THE BIRD: Is there any way to get through to Republicans' minds short of an exorcism?

Sat, 18 Jul 2026 10:59:08 GMT

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DEAR MISS MINGO:

You appear to be the Miss Manners expert on how to approach our MAGA legislators. Please advise me regarding if I should abandon trying to shame mine into any sense of decency. It appears all those serious Republicans with an intact conscience have already left the building.

While my local U.S. Representative appears “decent” (well, we are the district that spawned Randy Fine), he is utterly spineless as evidenced by his refusal to give any sort of pushback against the current administration’s massive grifting and corruption. The last straw was the former history professor’s letter to constituents, along with some twisted historical justification, in full support of Trump’s taxpayer-funded billion-dollar ballroom.

Should I just stop banging my head against the seawall?

Miffed in Merritt Island

Dear Miffed:

You are not alone. I, myself, have tried various strategies to get through the thick skulls of several Republicans I know. When reason failed, I turned to less traditional methods.

First, I tried wearing strings of garlic around my neck and advancing upon them with outstretched silver crosses. No joy. In fact, one of them snatched it out of my hands and now refuses to return it. This has cost me a friendship since, not being particularly religious myself, I had borrowed it.

It occurred to me that there had to be more than stubbornness at play here, so I wondered about demon possession. I consulted a Wiccan friend of mine to see if she could perform an exorcism but, it turns out, she doesn’t believe in devils or such. My next step is to consult a priest. I will report back.

You can’t fix stupid. And you can’t cause someone to grow a conscience. People who have decided to put their own selfish interests above their oaths of office are the very definition of what it means to be dishonorable.

If exorcisms fail, the only thing left is to vote them out.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

What’s up with Congress? Shouldn’t they be called back if they are not in session to vote on this war out in the Middle East?

Mary Anne

Dear Mary Anne:

Events in the news move swiftly these days, and while this is my first chance to reply to your letter, Congress has, indeed, reconvened, but your concern remains because they have yet to do anything to rein in Trump’s reign of terror.

Worse, House Republicans are pushing a bill to give Trump $73 billion to re-stockpile his depleted weapons supply to continue his war. But that could face a rocky road in the Senate, especially as the midterm election nears and voting to extend war funding could backfire on Republicans fighting to save their phony-baloney jobs.

Stay tuned.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Are your attorneys allowing you to reveal your part in the Flamingo Revolution, the largest protests in Albania for decades? Jared Kushner‘s company paid $110 million for land that Miami “businessman” claims was owned by his family since the days of the Ottoman Empire. Albanian protesters are demanding the resignation of Prime Minister Edi Rama due to concerns about the environment and about corruption.

So, Miss Mingo, can you disclose your part in organizing this Flamingo Revolution? And how much of the $110 million have you received for your role in brokering the deal?

Greg in Austria

Dear Greg:

Bob Brecha, whose correspondence from Europe frequently graces Tropic Press reports, has written extensively about this issue, and I would direct you to his latest post, which you can find on our website.

As he notes:

Albanians have been more bold than US citizens in taking to the streets in an uprising up against politicians involved in questionable real estate deals. It seems that Albanians are upset that a sensitive nature reserve (flamingoes and other creatures) is being eyed as the next private luxury development by the Trump/Kushner Clan. Although the project proposal has been around for a couple of years, matters rose to a head after Ivanka Trump told a podcaster that, “We were on a friend’s boat, and we stopped for a swim, effectively, that’s how we found it. We swam to the islands, we went on a hike barefoot all the way up to the top, and we were just captivated,”(CNN) How Christopher Columbus of them.

To your question, I have no direct involvement in this matter. I did not broker the deal. I did not lead the protest following the deal. That’s the sort of thing arms dealers do, right? Stir up conflict then sell guns to both sides? Good business model, I suppose, but that’s not me. But I do love the idea of a “Flamingo Revolution.”

Maybe we can get one started here in Florida. I would be happy to carry the banner for that.

Got a question for Miss Mingo? About life, the news, or multi-dimensional realities? Write to her at MissMingo@Tropic.Press

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ASK THE BIRD: Can I use my Wi-Fi name to insult the 'moron' running for governor?

Sat, 11 Jul 2026 10:01:53 GMT

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DEAR MISS MINGO:

I need a ruling on decorum because I’ve run out of dignified options.

This state is about to elect a governor whose main qualifications are a Trump post, a war chest north of $80 million, and a primary lead so wide his opponents are now suing each other over who actually lives in Florida. I did the polite things. I wrote strongly worded posts. I refreshed the polls hoping they’d apologize. I sighed. None of it took.

So, I have questions about what a lady may and may not do.

Is it acceptable to rename my home Wi-Fi network “Byron Donalds Is a Moron”? It’s concise, it’s my honest assessment, and it helps educate the children around me. Or is broadcasting one’s politics to the neighborhood considered gauche?

Related: My dogs have a “dump zone” at the local MAGA neighbor’s lawn. I have not encouraged this. I have also not stopped it. Where does etiquette land on beagles expressing themselves on a campaign sign?

And the real question — is there any graceful posture left between “resigned” and “relocating somewhere with fewer alligators and better outcomes”? Or do I just sigh at dinner and accept my fate?

Despairing in Palm Harbor

Dear Despairing:

So many important questions. Let me tackle them one-by-one.

As for how you name your Wi-Fi network, the First Amendment gives you broad latitude for self-expression, and generally—and especially when dealing with public figures—you can name your network what you please so long as you are not slipping into defamation.

For instance, calling a politician a “moron” is fair game, if redundant. People running for office put themselves out there for evaluation, and if you think the congressperson from Southwest Florida is an idiot, you are free to say so.

Saying the same thing about a private person, however, could be a cause for legal difficulties, especially if it were untrue. Also, saying something untruthful and damaging even about a public figure could also get you in trouble.

Calling a politician a “moron,” though, is clearly in bounds. Calling a politician—just to make something up—”a lying, cheating, bankrupting, hateful, sexual abuser and felon” might be too much unless you’re talking about the president.

I must say, using your Wi-Fi network’s name to broadcast a political message is the cleverest bit of marketing I’ve heard of in a long time. Well played.

As for your dogs’ bathroom habits. Generally speaking, when puppies poo, it is good manners (and, in some localities, a health-code requirement) to pick up after them. As for tinkling on campaign signs, however, that’s perfectly fine, and that’s what your neighbor gets for littering his lawn.

Finally, do not resign yourself to the status quo. Today’s reality is tomorrow’s ancient history. Make a difference. Change history. Vote. Talk to your neighbors, no matter how ignorant. Never give in.

Besides, wouldn’t it be dull living someplace where when you walk out your front door you never know if you’ll be attacked by a gator or python or Florida Man?

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Will Turner tells me—and it’s in your official biography on the Tropic Press website, too—that you are actually the creation of an author’s imagination. How does that work? And how do any of us know if we are real or just imaginary?

Capt. J. Sparrow

Dear Captain:

I just love existential questions.

We are all as real as we think we are. We think, therefore we are. Well, at least that used to be the standard. Now with AI, I’m unsettled about all that.

As for your own reality, yes, you are real. Because we need you to be real. We need heroes even if some people think they are scoundrels. We each need our own Black Pearl, maybe not an actual ship, but a place where we can feel free and boundless. Yes, Captain, you are necessarily real. You and Sherlock and Frodo and Katniss and Leia and Robin—all heroes I need to be part of my life. So you are, too.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Didn’t the author Robert Heinlein write about that question you just answered?

Neil in New York

Dear Neil:

Yes. As most people know, Heinlein, with the help of a group of brilliant scientists, invented a convertible that could travel through space, time and parallel dimensions, as recounted in his scientific journal The Number of the Beast.

In so doing, Heinlein and his friends discovered that some universes were actually created as the result of the collective imaginations of writers, and in those worlds, the characters become real. Who is to say that’s not the universe we live in?

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Me. And have you been drinking again?

The Real Neil deGrasse Tyson

Dear Real Neil:

Um. Maybe.

Got a question for Miss Mingo? About life, the news, or multi-dimensional realities? Write to her at MissMingo@Tropic.Press

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ASK THE BIRD: The Huckster-in-Chief's latest merch. Get your Pond Scum 250 today!

Sat, 04 Jul 2026 12:10:27 GMT

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DEAR MISS MINGO:

In celebrating the 250th birthday of the United States of America, the Trump Store, as well as merchandise booths at the Great American State Fair, are offering some patriotic items whose availability seems to have flown under the radar. Notable products include:

Organic algae supplements harvested from the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool by highly trained ICE operatives specializing in purification from foreign bodies. This algae, under the brand name Trump Scum 250^©, provides protein, vitamins, and minerals that improve one’s sense of health and well-being. This product is approved by the United States Department of Health and Human Services. Accept no substitute for genuine Trump Scum 250^©!
Trump Scum 250+^© with beta carotene added. These supplements enhance the Trump Scum 250^© experience by promoting a subtle orange glow of your skin. Now you can not only feel good but look great too!
Trump Scum 250^© Starter Kit. This kit provides all you need to grow genuine Trump Scum 250^© at home. Included is an American Flag Blue platter, 2026 grams of reflecting pool water, and 250 grams of genuine Trump Scum 250^©. Place ingredients in the sun and watch the Trump Scum 250^© grow! Scum may be harvested and added, for example, to pools, bathwater, adult beverages, or salads, ensuring that Trump Scum 250^© enhances every part of your life!
45”x47” pool tile. This American Flag Blue tile adheres to the bottom of any swimming pool. Within a week to ten days, it will begin to peel off. Invite liberal neighbors over for a pool party, and then accuse them of vandalizing your pool by peeling off the tile. Have them arrested! Great way to assert your patriotism.

Perhaps you would be interested in publicizing these outstanding products before inventory is depleted. Maybe the Tropic Press Store would relish the opportunity to agree to market these items as well? No need to thank me for the tip!

May you have a most joyful celebration of our nation!

William

Dear William:

I shared your missive with my editors and they were ecstatic about the possibility of adding this exciting new product line to the Tropic Press Store. There’s a link at the bottom of this column. Thanks.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Is it just me, or does it seem like Trump’s Great American State Fair and Freedom 250 celebrations, or whatever they’re called, have been a big dud? As a certified “old fart” I clearly remember all the hoopla and celebration of the bicentennial in 1976 and what a big deal it was. Could it be that Americans just aren’t in the mood to celebrate and exalt the Dear Leader in light of his attempts to trample the Constitution and destroy our democracy?

I’ve noticed a distinct lack of patriotic (or more properly, nationalistic) display in the form of flags, bunting, etc. as compared to previous years. As a matter of fact, one house in my neighborhood that never misses an opportunity to celebrate a holiday with a prodigious display of blow-up yard art has declined to erect their usual array of blow-up Uncle Sams, eagles, flags, and fireworks. And I haven’t heard a word about the customary 4th of July children’s parade our H.O.A. sponsors every year. Could this be a form of silent protest? Or could it be that we just don’t seem to have anything to celebrate this year? Or maybe it’s merely the fact that I live near Gainesville in that tiny patch of Blue in the Free State of Florida dominated by Trump-hating, commie-pinkos.

Well, whatever, I will (not) be celebrating the 4th of July this year in Copenhagen, Denmark - you know, that socialist country that happens to be the happiest country in the world - with a picnic with friends and family, trying to maintain a low profile so as not to call attention to my nationality. In 1976 I could never have conceived of this, but alas here we are.

Doug Phillips
Newberry, Florida

Dear Doug:

The 250th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence is a monumental milestone in the history of our country, and should be a cause for great celebration.

And it would have been, too, were it not for the fact that our president, rather than cheerleading a national commemoration of our country, chose instead to make it all about himself.

Look at me!

Look at me!

And Democrats have now released an investigative report suggesting that the Trump administration may have engaged in wire fraud by allegedly diverting funds away from the congressionally authorized America250 celebration to Trump’s Freedom 250, the total flop of a party that everyone seems to be avoiding, including the vast majority of entertainers who originally signed on.

It’s shameful, and any normal, emotionally healthy person would be embarrassed. But we’re talking about Trump.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Since Florida is a red state, I’m sure our voter records were turned over to the feds. I’m thinking about changing from mail-in voting to walk-in voting, as I don’t trust Florida or the feds. I know I sound paranoid, but who isn’t these days?

Nervous somewhere in Florida

Dear Nervous:

There’s actually an easy middle ground to resolve your concerns. Here’s what I do: I get my mail-in ballot, fill it out well in advance of election day, then drive it over to the local Supervisor of Elections Office and hand it in so I don’t have to worry about Trump’s Postal Service screwing around with the election.

Depending on where you live, there may also be secure drop-off boxes.

And if either of those is inconvenient, you can always have someone you trust drop them off for you, but be advised that under Florida law, a person can only drop off ballots for others if they are an immediate family member or up to two other people.

That last bit is alternatively known as a voter integrity initiative or a voter suppression scheme depending on who you talk to.

As for being anxious about all this, you know the saying: Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.

Got a question for Miss Mingo? About life, the news, or clever ways to avoid paying bar tabs? Write to her at MissMingo@Tropic.Press

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ASK THE BIRD: Wasn't Trump supposed to drain the swamp, not make it worse?

Sat, 27 Jun 2026 10:01:12 GMT

Editor’s Note: We take a break from hard news every Saturday morning to let Hermina Hermelinda Obregon, a.k.a. Miss Mingo, share her unmatched insights with readers. What’s her story? She’s a recovering newspaper reporter living in a bungalow off Duval Street in Key West, if you believe her official biography. You got questions? She’s got answers. Some may even be accurate.

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DEAR MISS MINGO:

The Reflecting Pool on the National Mall is now painted Flag Blue! $14.5 million is the cost so far. Could the president have consulted the scientific community about the color before beginning the renovation? Most fifth graders understand the concept that darker colors absorb and hold more heat than light colors. Thus, the rampant growth of green algae and now the paint losing its adhesiveness causing bubbling and peeling. So, the answer to the question once again proves that Trump is dumber than a fifth grader. Happy 250th birthday, America. Are we great yet?

David in Pace

Dear David:

On behalf of all current and former fifth graders, including myself, I think we should clear up the record regarding their intelligence.

I asked the never-wrong internet this question: “At what grade do children learn dark colors hold heat?” The answer:

“Between kindergarten and third grade.”

So, for the record, Trump is actually dumber than, at most, a third grader.”

But this assessment disregards all the roaming bands of vandals assaulting our nation’s capital, knives out, slicing the pool liner with abandon.

I mean, this is Trump. It’s never his fault. So now we are supposed to blame these invisible pool marauders who have apparently sprung up out of nowhere, since only a couple of weeks ago, Trump was crowing about how safe he’s made Washington, D.C.

As for why the president didn’t consult actual scientists in advance, what would he need to do that for? He is, after all, a stable genius. right?

Besides, who says dark colors hold heat? A bunch of unionized commie teachers? FAKE NEWS!

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Yeah, but I’ve seen swimming pools with neat-looking dark colors. How come they aren’t overgrown with algae?

Pool owner in Plantation

Dear Pool:

Of course. It’s called chlorine and filtration. Swimming pools are constantly filtered and treated with chemicals. If they were left stagnant like the Reflecting Pool, they’d be overgrown, too.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Do you think guys would ask me inviting questions—like ”Can I buy you a drink?”— if I wore one of your lovely shirts to a bar?

Nervy Octogenarian

Dear Nervy:

You go, girl!

You are, of course, referring to one of these gorgeous tee shirts that the editors of Tropic Press shamelessly hawk at the bottom of each of these columns (and which have caused unending confusion among readers who seem to believe I’m a real bird).

I have wonderful friends (above) who proudly parade their pink in Key West and elsewhere, but I have not had the temerity to ask whether this has resulted in any free cocktails. One can only hope!

Let me know how it goes. And send pictures! I love the idea of posting pictures of my readers here in their ASK THE BIRD tee shirts.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

I’m told that you have an actual biography somewhere on the Tropic Press website. Is that true, and where can I find it?

Nosey in Naples

Dear Nosey:

Yes, when this column first began publishing, the editors created a brief backgrounder on me that ran in this space. After countless columns, it’s gotten pushed down in the queue by more recent contributions, but you can still find it on the website by clicking on the Miss Mingo menu item and navigating to the very bottom of the columns. Or you can use this shortcut:

Who is Miss Mingo?

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Our dear leader keeps claiming that he scores a perfect score on cognitive tests, which he mistakenly refers to as intelligence tests.

Given that a perfect score of thirty items would be 30, seems that must be his IQ. Or would it be 100?

Does he realize that 30 on an IQ test is considered sub-moron? Or that 100 is bigly average.

Why does no one ever ask him what his IQ is, based on his tests?

Do his testers also have low IQs, or do they think momentary cognition is intelligence?

Are reporters cognizant of this or do they just lack, courage, integrity, credibility and a sense of humor?

And yes, I do realize that sub-moron is outmoded and 30 would actually be an imbecile on the ancient scale, but I am old!

Thanks for your credible answer.

Safe-in-Europe?

Dear Safe:

Where in Europe, and do you accept house guests?

But to your several questions, in order:

The 30 questions to which you refer are on the Montreal Cognitive Assessment, a screening tool to test for, among other mental maladies, dementia. Anyone who brags that they “passed” the test is clearly suffering from the Dunning-Kruger effect, essentially a person who’s too stupid to know they are stupid.

When you believe you are a stable genius, you are impervious to the truth.

As for Trump’s actual IQ, and efforts by my colleagues in the news media to discover that (apart from his day-to-day sub-moron behavior, as you put it), it has been frustrating. In short, despite ceaseless digging, nobody has ever found any record of Trump having taken an IQ test. And if he did, he’s done a great job of hiding it. Maybe it’s stashed among all the boxes of Top Secret documents in his Mar-a-Lago bathroom.

Or you could just trust his “stable genius” claims, in which case I’ve got a slightly used concentration camp in the Everglades I’ll sell you at a bargain price.

Got a question for Miss Mingo? About life, the news, or clever ways to avoid paying bar tabs? Write to her at MissMingo@Tropic.Press.

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ASK THE BIRD: Would I eat Sally's Shrimp? Only if she offered it to me

Sat, 20 Jun 2026 10:59:26 GMT

Editor’s Note: We take a break from hard news every Saturday morning to let Hermina Hermelinda Obregon, a.k.a. Miss Mingo, share her insights with readers. She’s a recovering newspaper reporter living in a bungalow off Duval Street in Key West, where she answers the pressing questions of the day about life, the news, and the best happy hour prices. If we get enough paid subscribers, we may actually start reimbursing her for her efforts.

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DEAR MISS MINGO:

You seem like a fun little pink bird. But is your diet mainly comprised of little sally shrimp?

Wasting Away in Palm Beach

Dear Wasting:

In just a few words, you raise several points that I should address.

Now, to be clear, just because the editors at Tropic Press think it’s soooo funny to draw a cartoon of a flamingo to run with each of these columns does not mean that I, myself, am actually a pink bird.

And just because my nickname is Miss Mingo, does not mean that I have pink feathers and eat shrimp.

Well, actually, I do eat shrimp (mostly for the cocktail sauce), and because I try very hard to stay out of the sun, I suppose my sensitive skin is slightly pinkish. But that’s just a coincidence. I do have lots and lots of pink things because I am kinda nuts about flamingos (hence the nickname), and I do have a feather boa—but let me emphasize that having a feathered boa is not the same thing as having feathers.

(I should hasten to add that my boa does not have REAL flamingo feathers. The very idea!)

And flamingos can’t type. They do talk a lot, though. Mostly it comes out as honks, double-honks, and sometimes growls and grunts and whistles. They’re very chatty with one another. But I dare say none have ever successfully used a keyboard.

Now, to this business of “sally shrimp.” You sent me to the internet with that one. I discovered there’s such a thing as Sally’s Frozen Fish Food, made up of shrimp and it is used in aquariums. Is that what you were referring to?

For the record, I do not live in an aquarium. Although I will say that since starting this column it has been a little more challenging to maintain my privacy, and at times does feel like living in a fishbowl.

Interestingly, I also discovered there’s an online slot machine game entitled Super Sally’s Shrimp Mania—again, something I had never heard of until now. So, thanks for broadening my horizons.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

How much does the choice of words in day-to-day use engender and emphasize tension? For instance, suppose our lawyers and politicians “work” instead of “fighting” for us. And politicians instead of demanding “deals” seek “agreements.” Less confrontation, more empathy and understanding.

William E “Bill” Thompson

Apopka

Dear Bill:

The editors slipped this comment of yours to me thinking that I could use it as a jumping off point for a discussion of manners in this column. But my name is Miss Mingo, not Miss Manners. For the record, though, I totally share your point. Our culture has become pointlessly combative. My own personal conspiracy theory is that this is no accident. It’s by design to divide us and keep us distracted bickering with one another while our pockets are getting picked by the One Percenters.

DEAR MISS MINGO

I‘m having a hard time trying to understand why the issue of tax immunity is not being focused on with more intensity. Attorney General (interim) Todd Blanche issued a blanket immunity for tax audits with no more authority than the stroke of his pen (unless he used an autopen to be sure his fingerprints were not left on the document).

See of all the bruhaha about the $10 billion lawsuit of Trump against the IRS and the $1.776 billion (what’s the irony in that amount), the biggest insult to the nation was the immunity letter. The brief letter filling less than half a page, dismisses Trump, personally, the members of his family, and his business enterprises from IRS enforcement for the past and forever in the future.

Given the wording in the letter, not only would audits be a thing of the past – notwithstanding a law that requires that the tax returns of the president and the vice president must be audited and the contents released to the public.

Blanche, Trump’s former personal attorney, managed to discharge all of those parties from ever having to perform any of those bothersome activities like filing tax returns or for that matter paying any taxes at all. If the individuals and entities cannot be audited thus the tax laws enforced, then how can the IRS enforce failure to file and non-payment of taxes? Can you imagine how much they will save it tax preparation costs alone on top of not paying in taxes?

Pity all of the accounts and tax attorneys that will not have the work of that group. Why the costs and nuisance of filing on all of the schemes and scams of the family businesses doubtless adds up to multi-millions.

Just seems to me like the ultimate "get out of jail” card. Yet there has been little said, even but whether Blache has the authority to discharge this clients from compliance with the law.

I know, I’m just an old crank who has been bothered to have to abide by these pesky tax requirements for seven decades and never got a freebee like this.

William E. “Bill” Thompson

Dear Bill:

You again! But, hey, great letter, and your points are spot on.

Here’s the thing: This “Get Out of Jail Free” card could only have any legitimacy if it were part of an actual settlement of a lawsuit.

Federal Judge Kathleeen Williams has called into question whether the suit was ever legit since it was, essentially, Trump suing himself.

If this isn’t a conspiracy to defraud the government, I don’t know what is, and I can’t imagine this holding up.

Just because Trump has a flunky who signs a ridiculous agreement does not in and of itself give it the force of law (so I say with all my years of legal training, which equal zero). Still, it obviously ain’t right, and I will be shocked—shocked, I tell you— if it isn’t thrown out.

Thanks for bringing it to our attention and for your thoughtful analysis. The longer the letters are from readers like you, the less I have to actually write, which allows me more time to focus on my continued efforts to ring up bar tabs at every saloon in Key West.

Cheers.

Got a question for Miss Mingo? About life, the news, or clever ways to avoid paying bar tabs? Write to her at MissMingo@Tropic.Press

ASK MISS MINGO

Hermina Hermelinda Obregon—a.k.a. Miss Mingo—was an award-winning newspaper reporter before she involuntarily joined the diaspora of journalists leaving the newspaper profession. She now lives with her two cats—Deadline and Dateline—and her pet iguana Skippy. If you wander the streets (and bars) of Key West, you’ll doubtless run into her. She’ll be the woman wearing the ridiculous flamingo hat. If you want an autograph, you’ll have to buy her a Cuba Libre. There’s more about her here.

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ASK THE BIRD: Are we great again yet? What makes you think we never were?

Sat, 13 Jun 2026 10:00:59 GMT

Editor’s Note: We take a break from hard news every Saturday morning to let Hermina Hermelinda Obregon, a.k.a. Miss Mingo, share her insights with readers. She’s a recovering newspaper reporter living in a bungalow off Duval Street in Key West, where she answers the pressing questions of the day about life, the news, and the best happy hour prices. If we get enough paid subscribers, we may actually start reimbursing her for her efforts.

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DEAR MISS MINGO:

With the passing of Memorial Day and the brewing excitement over our nation’s 250^th birthday, I have to wonder how Dozy Donny’s efforts are going to Make America Great Again. Are we there yet? To my reckoning, he has threatened some 14 independent nations with violence or a takeover, abducted the leader of one country, and started a war in the Middle East. Does that make him a great leader, and does that make us great again? How do you view his chances of being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, or has he already acquired one?

In order to stack the deck in his favor, perhaps after he turns the Gaza Strip into a beach resort, he could turn Iran into a Trump golf course and theme park. That should seal the deal!

I am also concerned, as are others, over the Great Pumpkin’s health. I know his hair loss has been an issue, but his complexion is concerning to me. Perhaps he could have his health minion, RFK Jr., look into the possible effects of the orange dye he may have been ingesting.

Speaking of RFK Jr., I recently viewed a stunning video of him wrestling dangerous snakes from the patio of one Dr. Oz. It reminded me of the old Mutual of Omaha series, and of Jim wrestling a wild Anaconda. Perhaps this video could be used in lieu of the standard procedure for him to acquire a permit to participate in the 2026 Florida Python Challenge? I would love for him to wander into the Everglades to tackle this growing health and environmental problem. At the very least, I would think he might offer his services to help clean up around Alligator Alcatraz once it closes. There are so many things a multi-talented genius of his caliber might do to serve our country as we approach its 250^th birthday!

So, if we aren’t great again yet, I can’t imagine what we might do to tip the scales in our favor. Perhaps we could have our esteemed leader Jello wrestle on the White House lawn with Putin, Xi, or the Ayatollah Alireza Arafi. All we need is some sort of hideous structure beneath which to hold the matches!

Does any of this sound reasonable to you, or am I...

Dreamin’ in Dunedin

Dear Dreaming:

Congratulations. This is the longest letter I have received in my time writing this column, and it serves as Exhibit A of why I love this job—I get to interact with so many clever and interesting people.

I realize this is really a tirade disguised as a question just so you could sneak it into print, to which I say: Well played!

But to your point:

MAGA as a slogan begins with a false premise—that America isn’t already great—and that it will take someone, a savior, a larger-than-life leader to turn things around. This is, as we all know, a con job, a trick designed to dupe those poor souls among us prone to buying snake oil, or believing the moon landing wasn’t real, or that vaccines cause STDs, or whatever.

If I recall my Sunday school classes (it’s been a few years), Jesus once said the poor will always be among us.

He might also have said the gullible.

We never needed Trump to be great again. But we need his successor to clean up the mess he’s made.

And no, he won’t win the Nobel Peace Prize. And even if he did, he’d fall asleep during the ceremony.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

While we’re ranting here, what’s with Florida Sen. Ashley Moody pretending she stood up for cops with her vote on Trump’s $1.776 billion slush fund? Does she think we’re stupid?

Aggravated in Apopka

Dear Aggravated:

It would have taken only one more Republican senator voting for it, and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer’s amendment to dropkick the slush fund out of existence would have passed.

That vote did not come from Moody—or from Florida’s other senator, Rick Scott—either.

As a result, the slush fund still, theoretically, exists.

What Moody did vote for was a failed amendment that would have permitted the slush fund but not let its money be used to reimburse Jan. 6 rioters.

But that was just a bit of performance art. It was a clever gambit by a Democratic senator to force Republicans to vote against it, so it could be used to show that Republicans have no respect for all the police injured during the insurrection at the Capitol.

Moody was among a handful of Republicans facing close races who voted for it, even though it was doomed from the beginning. It gives her something to counterpunch with, sort of, when she is rightfully accused of backing Trump and his chicanery.

It was a meaningless bit of theatrics. Don’t be fooled.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

You seem kind of down on Moody. Why is that?

Fairminded in Fort Lauderdale

Dear Fairminded:

First off, I have no patience for politicians of any party who put their personal political fortunes ahead of the good of the country.

My hero in that regard, even though she and I have never met and we wouldn’t agree on much, is Liz Cheney. She chose patriotism over her career in defying Trump. We need more like her on both sides of the aisle.

Moody was never elected to the Senate. Gov. Ron DeSantis planted her there when Marco Rubio quit to become Trump’s secretary of State. That’s why she has to run now to keep her job.

Trump needs to be impeached. We need a Senate willing to convict. That’s not Moody. She is a total Trump toady.

And, yes, I know I’m showing my biases here. I’m biased in favor of America’s survival.

Wow. This column has been full of tantrums, hasn’t it? I think I’ll go get a cocktail and settle down. See you next week.

Got a question for Miss Mingo? About life, the news, or clever ways to avoid paying bar tabs? Write to her at MissMingo@Tropic.Press

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ASK THE BIRD: The idea of Cubans bombing Key West will make your blood pressure spike

Sat, 06 Jun 2026 10:01:33 GMT

Editor’s Note: We take a break from hard news every Saturday morning to let Hermina Hermelinda Obregon, a.k.a. Miss Mingo, share her insights with readers. She’s a recovering newspaper reporter living in a bungalow off Duval Street in Key West, where she answers the pressing questions of the day about life, the news, and the best happy hour prices. If w…

ASK THE BIRD: So how can Trump sue himself and the rest of us have to pay for it?

Sat, 23 May 2026 10:02:41 GMT

“Thank you, thank you, thank you Miss Mingo! You are Florida's Andy Borowitz!”

— Barbara Brownell

ASK THE BIRD: How big a 'savings' was Alligator Alcatraz? And will we be moving buffalo there?

Sat, 16 May 2026 10:02:46 GMT

Editor’s Note: We take a break from hard news every Saturday morning to let Hermina Hermelinda Obregon, a.k.a. Miss Mingo, share her insights with readers. She’s a recovering newspaper reporter living in a bungalow off Duval Street in Key West, where she answers the pressing questions of the day about life, the news, and the best happy hour prices. If w…

ASK THE BIRD: Now what am I supposed to do with all the gunslinger gear I bought?

Sat, 09 May 2026 10:03:06 GMT

Editor’s Note: We take a break from hard news every Saturday morning to let Hermina Hermelinda Obregon, a.k.a. Miss Mingo, share her insights with readers. She’s a recovering newspaper reporter living in a bungalow off Duval Street in Key West, where she answers the pressing questions of the day about life, the news, and the best happy hour prices. You …

ASK THE BIRD: Are the seashells rising up in protest all on their own?

Sat, 02 May 2026 10:02:31 GMT

Editor’s Note: We take a break from hard news every Saturday morning to let Hermina Hermelinda Obregon, a.k.a. Miss Mingo, share her insights with readers. She’s a recovering newspaper reporter living in a bungalow off Duval Street in Key West, where she answers the pressing questions of the day about life, the news, and the best happy hour prices. You …

ASK THE BIRD: Is it true McDonald's may be forced to create a hamburger in Trump's name?

Sat, 25 Apr 2026 10:00:59 GMT

Editor’s Note: We take a break from hard news every Saturday morning to let Hermina Hermelinda Obregon, a.k.a. Miss Mingo, share her insights with readers. She’s a recovering newspaper reporter living in a bungalow off Duval Street in Key West, where she answers the pressing questions of the day about life, the news, and the best happy hour prices. You …

ASK THE BIRD: What's with all these special sessions of the state Legislature?

Sat, 18 Apr 2026 15:09:53 GMT

Editor’s Note: We take a break from hard news every Saturday morning to let Hermina Hermelinda Obregon, a.k.a. Miss Mingo, share her insights with readers. She’s a recovering newspaper reporter living in a bungalow off Duval Street in Key West, where she answers the pressing questions of the day about life, the news, and the best happy hour prices. You …

ASK THE BIRD: If you're not allowed to vote, do you still have to pay taxes?

Sat, 11 Apr 2026 10:01:50 GMT

Editor’s Note: We take a break from hard news every Saturday morning to let Hermina Hermelinda Obregon, a.k.a. Miss Mingo, share her insights with readers. She’s a recovering newspaper reporter living in a bungalow off Duval Street in Key West, where she answers the pressing questions of the day about life, the news, and the best happy hour prices. You …