ASK THE BIRD: Alien Abduction Day is a little confusing. Please clarify

Got a question? Ask Miss Mingo. She's got answers. She writes every Saturday for Tropic Press.

Editor’s Note: We take a break from hard news every Saturday morning to let Hermina Hermelinda Obregon, a.k.a. Miss Mingo, share her insights with readers. She’s a recovering newspaper reporter living in a bungalow off Duval Street in Key West, where she answers the pressing questions of the day about life, the news, and the best happy hour prices. You can support her bar tab by becoming a paid subscriber.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

I heard on the Dave Elliott radio show yesterday that it was Alien Abduction Day. Does this refer to space aliens abducting innocent Earthlings or the activities of ICE agents abducting and incarcerating undocumented immigrants at concentration camps like Alligator Alcatraz? Or both?

Curious in Clewiston

Dear Curious:

Neither, although I can see how this would easily become confusing.

It actually refers to an incident that occurred over the skies of Roswell, New Mexico, in 1947 when American fighter aircraft shot down a flying saucer.

Of course, there was a huge cover-up, and the Pentagon claimed it was just a weather balloon (it’s always a weather balloon, right?).

But, in truth, a pair of space aliens were captured (abducted) and hauled off to a secret bunker at Wright Patterson Air Force Base in Dayton, Ohio, where, sources tell me, they are still alive today.

Interestingly, they love pasta, so I have to wonder if it is a coincidence that, in addition to Alien Abduction Day, it was also Ravioli Day.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

I see that Florida’s former attorney general — and now U.S. Attorney General — Pam Bondi has been subpoenaed to testify before the House Oversight Committee to defend herself over her failure to fully release the Epstein Files as required by a law passed by Congress and signed by Donald Trump. What happens if she refuses?

Legally Blonde in Bradenton

Dear Legally:

The last time Bondi showed up for a congressional hearing, she went Full Karen and was widely ridiculed. So, it wouldn’t surprise me if she snubbed this latest attempt to force the truth out of her.

The committee could move to hold her in contempt, which requires a full vote of the House of Representatives, although she could argue about the validity of the subpoena.

Another problem: A contempt charge against Bondi would be prosecuted by the Justice Department, which she heads, so the odds of that happening approach zero.

Congress could also file suit in federal court, but where that would lead seems murky as red tide.

Ultimately, she could be impeached, and articles of impeachment have been filed, but so far, haven’t gained any traction.

So, my answer, even though I am not an attorney, is that the consequences would be more political than legal. Her failure to show up would hand Democrats a wonderful gift. “What’s Pam Hiding?” I can see the memes now.

So, I’m personally hoping she gets all stubborn and petulant about it and falls into that trap.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Full Karen? Isn’t that a little unfair to all the women out there who, through no fault of their own, were named Karen by their parents? And should the actual Karens of the world be entitled to sue their mothers and fathers for naming them that?

@ Real Karen in Clearwater

Dear Karen:

Hey, I didn’t invent the whole Karen-as-an-entitled-white-woman-throwing-her-priviledged-weight-around thing, so don’t blame (or sue) me.

Could a real Karen such as yourself sue your parents?

Of course.

But in so doing, I think you’d prove the point of the meme.

Think about that. If you can.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

OK. But can we change it to going Full Bondi?

@ Real Karen (again)

Dear Karen:

Works for me.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Will you be attending one of the No Kings Day rallies on March 28? Just curious whether as a registered journalist, you are allowed to participate in such things.

Ethically Minded in Marathon

Dear Ethically Minded:

Were I a news reporter, like I was in the good old days, it would be considered unethical for me to be an active participant in any political activity like that. Reporters are entitled to their own feelings and can belong to political parties (although I never did) and vote (I certainly do), but are expected to conduct themselves objectively, showing no favoritism to any side in a political debate.

That said, I’m not a reporter anymore. I’m a columnist, and the editors at Tropic Press actually pay me to have an opinion.

So, yeah, you can count on it. In fact, just as soon as I finish typing this (and finishing my drink), I’m painting my sign.

See you there!

DEAR MISS MINGO:

In your first item today, you referred to the Dave Elliott show, a talk radio program in Southwest Florida. Wasn’t that just a shameless plug since your boss, J.C. Bruce, is on the show every Friday at 8:10 a.m.?

Radiohead in Reddington Beach

Dear Radiohead:

Totally a coincidence. Although, since you mention it, here’s a link for more information:

Got a question for Miss Mingo? About life, the news, or clever ways to avoid paying bar tabs? Write to her at MissMingo@Tropic.Press

Hermina Hermelinda Obregon—a.k.a. Miss Mingo—was an award-winning newspaper reporter before she involuntarily joined the diaspora of journalists leaving the newspaper profession. She now lives with her two cats—Deadline and Dateline—and her pet iguana Skippy. If you wander the streets (and bars) of Key West, you’ll doubtless run into her. She’ll be the woman wearing the ridiculous flamingo hat. If you want an autograph, you’ll have to buy her a Cuba Libre. There’s more about her here.

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Coming Tomorrow:

The U.S. government took a half century to build a vaccination system that shielded children from deadly diseases. Its success depended on two fundamental pillars: parents trusting in vaccines and children having access to them. Both are now in peril, especially here in Florida. Coming Sunday: A special report from ProPublica.