ASK THE BIRD: If you're not allowed to vote, do you still have to pay taxes?
Miss Mingo has the answers you need to navigate the news, the universe, and everything
Editor’s Note: We take a break from hard news every Saturday morning to let Hermina Hermelinda Obregon, a.k.a. Miss Mingo, share her insights with readers. She’s a recovering newspaper reporter living in a bungalow off Duval Street in Key West, where she answers the pressing questions of the day about life, the news, and the best happy hour prices. You can support her bar tab by becoming a paid subscriber.
DEAR MISS MINGO:
If you cannot vote because you don’t have the proper paperwork to prove your citizenship and/or your identity in the eyes of the current occupant of the Oval Office and his minions, do you have to pay taxes, serve on jury duty, sign up for the draft, get a driver’s license?
Just wondering.
Barb Harrington
Dear Barb:
Your question reminds me of one of the rallying cries of the American Revolution, you know, the war we fought to ensure that our country wasn’t ruled by kings or wannabes.
It went:
“No taxation without representation!”
Given that, I would say you would be perfectly within your rights to stop paying taxes, fail to register for the draft, serve on juries, etc.
In principle.
As it turns out, just because you’re right, doesn’t mean you’re legal. For instance, even undocumented immigrants living in our country are required to pay taxes and register for the draft. Even though they can’t vote.
(And, for the record, they DON’T vote despite all the deranged yammering by some losers about stolen elections.)
But someone—and it could be YOU—could stand on principle and make a visible public statement of defiance to underscore how stupid and immoral all these voter suppression laws are.
Good luck with that!
DEAR MISS MINGO:
Speaking of the draft, is it true that President Trump wants to reinstitute the draft even though he famously was a Vietnam War draft dodger?
Mad at MacDill
Dear Mad:
Why the Trump administration would bring up the draft while we are in the middle of a terrifying and unconstitutional war in Iran is a real puzzler.
But, in all fairness, the Selective Service System for years has been talking about how inefficient its draft sign-up process is, how it has no teeth, and how easily it can be avoided.
Their plan is to scour all the federal databases to find young men who have failed to register and put them on the list. Hopefully, that’s the end of it and that the senile lunatic at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue doesn’t have any plans to start calling people up.
In fact, it would take an act of Congress to do so, and for a president to attempt it unilaterally would be illegal.
Not that considerations of law and constitutionality have ever hindered the Orange Trouser Stain before.
DEAR MISS MINGO:
I think that the Democrats have missed out on the use of the word “trumpery” in their anti-Trump postings.
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, Trumpery refers to something showy or attractive yet ultimately worthless, deceptive, or nonsensical.
Check it out and make use of it.
Enjoy your weekly column!
Bill Dolbier
Dear Bill:
I pondered how to make use of it and decided the best way was simply to publish your letter. Thanks.
DEAR MISS MINGO:
Here's a great reporter’s scoop for ya! We've all been diligently searching for where the people in the Trump administration came from. We all thought it was from Trump watching TV all day and picking the craziest people he could find. Silly us! Here's the real reason:
No One at Waffle House Remembers FEMA Official Who Says he Teleported In
Fulfilled in Venice
Dear Fulfilled:
Oh, to be fulfilled in Venice. Gondolas on the canals, St. Mark’s Basilica, Doge’s Palace… Oh, wait, you mean Venice, Florida. Well, it is very nice too.
Thanks for the link to that hilarious New York Times story.
Yeah, Trump seems to be filling his top administration posts from Marks Brothers Central Casting, and with the sacking of Kristi Noem and Pam Bondi, it looks like an encore performance from his first term, more purging to come.
Got a question for Miss Mingo? About life, the news, or clever ways to avoid paying bar tabs? Write to her at MissMingo@Tropic.Press
Hermina Hermelinda Obregon—a.k.a. Miss Mingo—was an award-winning newspaper reporter before she involuntarily joined the diaspora of journalists leaving the newspaper profession. She now lives with her two cats—Deadline and Dateline—and her pet iguana Skippy. If you wander the streets (and bars) of Key West, you’ll doubtless run into her. She’ll be the woman wearing the ridiculous flamingo hat. If you want an autograph, you’ll have to buy her a Cuba Libre. There’s more about her here.
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