ASK THE BIRD: Is it Gubernor DeSantis or merely Guber DeSantis? What style should we use?

Got a question? Ask Miss Mingo. She's got answers. Some may even be true. She writes every Saturday for Tropic Press.

Editor’s Note: We take a break from hard news every Saturday morning to let Hermina Hermelinda Obregon, a.k.a. Miss Mingo, share her insights with readers. She’s a recovering newspaper reporter living in a bungalow off Duval Street in Key West, where she answers the pressing questions of the day about life, the news, and the best happy hour prices. You can support her bar tab by becoming a paid subscriber.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Why is a person running for governor called a gubernatorial candidate? Shouldn’t they be called a governornatorial candidate? OK, maybe that sounds a little weird, now that I’ve said it. Maybe we should just refer to governors as gubernors? That would certainly simplify things. Here in Florida, we have a history of electing gubers. What do you think?

Bewildered in Bradenton,

Jack

Dear Jack:

I have long wondered the same thing, and it certainly is true that we have a history of electing gubers here in Florida, although I believed, until a moment ago, that the correct spelling was goober.

But I decided to check, and this is what I learned while sipping a delicious Cuba Libre at the Hard Rock Cafe’s outdoor bar on Duval Street. (Normally I do my typing indoors, but it’s a pretty day and Irish Kevin’s is so loud and crowded today with the cruise ship tourists, I couldn’t hear myself think in there.)

If you look up the word “goober,” you’ll see that among the definitions available online is “an unsophisticated goofy person,” which absolutely fits many of our elected leaders here in the open-carry Gunshine State.

I also learned to my surprise that there is, in fact, a standalone word “guber.” It’s pronounced just like goober, and it was coined in Nigeria.

Here’s the story:

While “gubernatorial” is an American term, Nigerian headline writers invented the shortened form “guber,” which has migrated into common everyday political discourse in Nigeria, as in “Joe Below Zero is running for guber.” And in 2020, the Oxford English Dictionary began including it as well as several other Nigerian English words.

So, the word “guber” may be an invasive term, but it seems it is here to stay, just like all those annoying frozen green iguanas falling out of the palm trees.

So, back to your original point:

My reading of this is that it would be mangling Nigerian (and now Oxford) English to use the expression Gubernor DeSantis. The correct form would be Guber DeSantis. And I suppose the abbreviated form would be Gub. DeSantis.

I rather like that, and I believe I will now adopt it as an entry in my personal, official style book. As you can see, I even talked our headline writer at Tropic Press to use it on this column.

Thanks!

DEAR MISS MINGO:

I read that President tRump is trademarking his name and initials so that when they rename the Palm Beach County airport for him, he can get a cut of the action at all the trinket shops.

Is there a word for this kind of crass, lowlife, snake-oilish behavior?

Disgusted (formerly from) Dunedin,

Ron

Dear Gub:

This seems like a day for hitting the dictionary. My first impulse was the word “cheesy,” but that seems inadequate as it merely means “cheap, unpleasant and blatantly inauthentic.”

Since any merch bearing trademarked Trump naming rights would, by definition, be an “authentic Trump tchotchke,” cheesy may not be the right word we’re looking for here.

Other words that come to mind could include, but not limited to:

Unseemly.

Tacky.

Tawdry.

Vulgar.

Schlocky.

Unbecoming.

Crass.

Opportunistic.

Shameless.

Embarrassing.

I could go on, but feel free to add your own in the comments below.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

That previous question? Was that really who I think it was from?

Amazed in Alachua

Dear Amazed:

What, you think I make this stuff up?

DEAR MISS MINGO:

I heard a rumor that once the State Legislature eliminates the use of property taxes to fund police departments in the state that, maybe, Kristi Noem will send ICE agents down here to enforce law and order. Any truth to this?

Troubled in Temple Terrace,

Pam

Dear Pam:

Don’t be silly. ICE agents are not trained to keep the peace. Their job is to create so much chaos that Donald Trump can declare martial law and eliminate the midterm elections because he knows if the Democrats take over the House and Senate, his next stop is Alligator Alcatraz.

Got a question for Miss Mingo? About life, the news, or clever ways to avoid paying bar tabs? Write to her at MissMingo@Tropic.Press

Hermina Hermelinda Obregon—a.k.a. Miss Mingo—was an award-winning newspaper reporter before she involuntarily joined the diaspora of journalists leaving the newspaper profession. She now lives with her two cats—Deadline and Dateline—and her pet iguana Skippy. If you wander the streets (and bars) of Key West, you’ll doubtless run into her. She’ll be the woman wearing the ridiculous flamingo hat. If you want an autograph, you’ll have to buy her a Cuba Libre. There’s more about her here.

Note to readers: The Tropic Press Store is now open, but I have been testing merchandise with the various vendors and I am not yet satisfied with the quality of the Miss Mingo tee shirts. I know many of you have been waiting for the store to open, but please bear with me as I work through this. Thanks. Oh, the coffee mugs, though, are the bomb.

J.C. Bruce