ASK THE BIRD: Life imitates art as Trump plays Goldfinger -- but pity the cat

Got a question about life, the universe or current events? Ask Miss Mingo. She's got answers. She writes every Saturday for Tropic Press.

Editor’s Note: We take a break from hard news every Saturday morning to let Hermina Hermelinda Obregon, a.k.a. Miss Mingo, share her insights with readers. She’s a recovering newspaper reporter living in a bungalow off Duval Street in Key West. At least that’s what her official biography says, if you can believe that. She answers the pressing questions of the day about life, the news, and the best happy hour prices.

NOTE TO READERS:

I was on my way out the door to catch a boat—off on vacay—when these last-minute questions hit my inbox. I just couldn’t let them sit unanswered while I was off playing. See you in a couple of weeks.

M.M.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Being an older broad who just loved James Bond Films, I can’t believe no one else has written about the INCREDIBLE similarities between President Donald Trump and the famous villain GOLDFINGER. It’s worth watching the movie again! The HAIR, the FAT BODY, the SLOPPY ILL-FITTING SUITS, the MEANNESS and CRUELTY.

Google GOLDFINGER and read that he was obsessed with all things GOLD…even covering women in gold paint! He amassed all the gold bars that he could and hoarded them in many countries (never paying taxes on them). He was entirely self-centered and also obsessed with…wait for it…..GOLF!! And we can all remember his infamous henchman OddJob.

Oh, I just noticed something. OddJob contains the letters DOJ, another personal henchman!

Regards,
Older broad in Tampa

Dear Older:

While I enjoyed the flicks, I’m actually more of a fan of the original Ian Fleming novels. I would note that while moviegoers may remember that a recurring Bond villain—Ernst Stavro Blofeld—had a white cat that he was constantly petting, the actual cat Fleming wrote about was, in fact, in Goldfinger.

It was not a pure white feline like in the movies, but ginger colored (goldish), and Goldfinger hated it.

Hated it so much that he gave the cat to OddJob for dinner.

So, to continue your brilliant parallels between Trump and Goldfinger, that is also a purrfect fit.

DEAR MISS MINGO:

Ya know all those seeds that are available to make us healthy, like Apple seeds, Pumpkin seeds, Chia, Flaxseed and on and on. Do you think if the Republicans in the House and Senate dined on Ball Seeds, they might possibly grow a set? Perhaps we could check on availability at the Ball Seed Company.

Best Regards,
Rick Stead

Dear Rick:

I wasn’t sure about printing this letter as I’m always a little squeamish about references to genitalia (yes, I realize this makes me a little old-fashioned). But I do get that this is less literally anatomical than a metaphorical allusion to courage. That said, I would quickly note that while a reference to males, there are plenty of women out there with guts enough to stand up to Trump, including the last Democratic presidential nominee. So, there is a part of me that wishes we could move past this manocentric reference.

That said, I was curious. And I discovered that there is, in fact, a Ball Seed Company, something I did not know. But then, I’m not much of a gardener. So, thanks for the enlightenment.

Okay, I’m out the door.

Got a question for Miss Mingo? About life, the news, or multi-dimensional realities? Write to her at MissMingo@Tropic.Press. She’ll be back from vacation in a couple of weeks.

Want to know more about Miss Mingo? How she got her start? And whether she really lives with two cats—Deadline and Dateline—and a pet iguana named Skippy? You can find her official biography, such as it is, here. If you’re bar hopping on Duval Street in Key West and spot an intriguing woman in a pink hat that you suspect might be Miss Mingo, you can always offer to buy her a Cuba Libre. Will it actually be her? Is there an actual her? Life’s a mystery.

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