ASK THE BIRD: Miss Mingo answers the question we're all asking--Why does Trump hate windmills?
There are at least three reasons, none of which has anything to do with the national interest, the environment, or creating new energy sources
Editor’s Note: Welcome to our newest columnist here at Tropic Press, Hermina Hermelinda Obregon, a.k.a. Miss Mingo. She’s a recovering newspaper reporter living in a bungalow off Duval Street in Key West where she answers the pressing questions of the day.
DEAR MISS MINGO:
Why does Donald Trump hate windmills? I read that story online about how he seems to be mobilizing the entire federal government to stop building wind-power generators off the coast. Isn’t that a cheap and clean form of electricity? Why would anyone object that that?
Troubled in Tallahassee
Dear Troubled:
Miss Mingo has given this important question a great deal of thought, and I have concluded that Trump is suffering from cognitive dissonance.
As commander-in-chief, he should be excited about supporting diverse forms of power generation, especially clean energy sources such as wind. But as real estate developer-in-chief, the role he can’t seem to leave behind, he hates wind turbines because they are, he believes, unsightly.
You may recall Trump is endlessly going on and on about wanting to build beachfront towers in exotic vacation spots like Gaza and North Korea. Windmills might make condo sales there trickier as they could interfere with the view of the ocean.
Also, he’s still sore about Scotland authorizing the construction of wind turbines near his golf course there.
DEAR MISS MINGO
Wait! What do windmills and golf courses have to do with one another?
Confused in Cocoa Beach
Dear Confused:
It’s really about the wind. Trump hates wind and he may believe that windmills actually cause wind, for all Miss Mingo knows.
There are two reasons he hates wind:
It messes up his golf game, and Trump spends more time golfing than any president in history. According to the Associated Press, he played 261 times during his first term alone.
Wind messes up his do. Windblown Melania is delightful. Windblown Trump is the stuff of nightmares. And he’s extremely vain about his remaining follicles. To wit:
DEAR MISS MINGO:
I watched the press conference on the Capitol steps earlier this week when all those sexual assault victims were demanding that Trump stop blocking the release of the Epstein Files. They had to quit talking when loud aircraft began roaring overhead. Somebody told me that was Trump who ordered military maneuvers to disrupt the women. He couldn’t possibly be that petty, could he?
Grumpy in Gainesville
Dear Grumpy:
Hahahahahahahaha. Thanks for that. Trump petty? Perish the thought. Snark, snark.
Miss Mingo has it on good authority that the military flyover coincided with the visit of the president of Poland and was to honor a dead Polish pilot. Why did it have to be that very moment? I think we all know the answer to that.
ASK THE BIRD
Got a question for Miss Mingo? About life, the universe or anything? Write to her at MissMingo@Tropic.Press
Hermina Hermelinda Obregon—a.k.a. Miss Mingo—was an award-winning newspaper reporter before she involuntarily joined the diaspora of journalists leaving the newspaper profession. She now lives with her two cats—Deadline and Dateline—and her pet iguana Skippy. If you wander the streets (and bars) of Key West, you’ll doubtless run into her. She’ll be the woman wearing the ridiculous flamingo hat. If you want an autograph, you’ll have to buy her a Cuba Libre. There’s more about here here.
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