Editor’s Note: Every Saturday morning, we take a break from hard news to let Miss Mingo share her insights with readers. She’s a recovering newspaper reporter living in a bungalow off Duval Street in Key West. At least that’s what her official biography says, if you believe that. She answers the day's pressing questions about life, the news, and the best happy hour prices.
DEAR MISS MINGO:
Good morning! I can’t stand hypocrisy, and I’m a practical person. Therefore, if Trump is so obsessed with changing names to reflect “America” (which we all know is just a bunch of BS), do you then think he should make good on this campaign and change the Spanish name of Mar-a-Lago to its English na — Sea to Lake?
Yours truly,
Trying to make Sense of it All
Dear Trying:
I think you’re onto something there, and I ‘ll bet most people didn’t know that’s how Mar-a-Lago is translated. Thank you for that.
It does inspire ideas for alternatives.
If we keep the Spanish name, for instance, we could tweak it to reflect current conditions (pun intended). How about:
Maremoto-Asul-al-Lago, which translates as Blue Tsunami to Lake.
DEAR MISS MINGO:
Is it true that Dorothy has exchanged her red shoes for blue ones now that Kansas has elected a Democrat to the U.S. Senate?
Playful in Pinellas
Dear Playful:
You mean like this?
DEAR MISS MINGO:
A blue tsunami may have hit Mar-a-Lago, but it sure didn’t show up in the rest of the state. I’ve been reading a lot about the blue trickle in Florida while the rest of the country was awash in a sea of blue.
Somebody told me that if Democrats had just shown up to vote, we wouldn’t be singing the blues here in the Sunshine State.
What do you have to say about that?
Statistical in Sarasota
Dear Statistical:
You’re not wrong.
By the numbers, 4,146,172 registered Democrats live in this state, according to the never-wrong internet. But even with the option to vote by mail and more than a week to vote at local polling places before Election Day, 1,311,615 Democrats decided to stay home on the couch rather than walk out the door and vote.
That means 32%—nearly a third—of all Democrats sat out the election. If just 10% of those people had voted, David Jolly would be our next governor instead of Byron Donalds.
DEAR MISS MINGO:
Yeah, but all that rain and flooding on Election Day. Isn’t that why voter turnout wasn’t higher?
Just Asking in Jacksonville
Dear Just Asking:
I’ve heard that explanation from a number of people. My only response is—not to be too snarky about it—that the rain fell on both Republicans and Democrats in equal measure.
And again, all those chances to vote early and not procrastinate. Really, there’s no excuse.
DEAR MISS MINGO:
That’s a little harsh, isn’t it?
Offended in Ocala
Dear Offended:
You want harsh? Wait until they put a gigantic data center in your neighborhood. That’s harsh!
DEAR MISS MINGO:
You sound frustrated. Maybe you need to take a day off.
Worried in Weston
Dear Worried:
When you’re right, you’re right. I think I’ll do a staycay right here in Key West, specifically on Duval Street. I see a Cuba Libre in my very near future.
Got a question for Miss Mingo? About life, the news, or nightlife on Duval Street, with which she is VERY familiar? Write to her at MissMingo@Tropic.Press.
Want to know more about Miss Mingo? How she got her start? And whether she really lives with two cats—Deadline and Dateline—and a pet iguana named Skippy? You can find her official biography, such as it is, here. If you’re bar-hopping on Duval Street in Key West and spot an intriguing woman in a pink hat you suspect might be Miss Mingo, you can always offer to buy her a Cuba Libre. Will it actually be her? Is there an actual her? Life’s a mystery.
AND now, some shameless advertising…
DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND, the official Tropic Press Store is now open and ready for business. You can order your very own Miss Mingo merch online. All sales are final. Check out the store here:
And when your shirt arrives, take a selfie and email it to Miss Mingo to be included in her column.
Those statistics make me sad! We were so close. Not only David but Angie too.
I feel ill. And angry! So angry...