ASK THE BIRD: What's the real truth about Trump's MRI, and how can you 're-dact' the Epstein Files?
Miss Mingo has answers to all of your questions. Sometimes they even resemble the truth.
Editor’s Note: Hermina Hermelinda Obregon, a.k.a. Miss Mingo, is a recovering newspaper reporter living in a bungalow off Duval Street in Key West where she answers your questions every Saturday about life, the news, and the best happy hour prices. You can support her bar tab by becoming a paid subscriber.
DEAR MISS MINGO:
President Trump recently had several MRIs. Apparently, he wasn’t sure what body parts were studied. Is it true that one of the MRIs was of his head and that they didn’t find anything?
Curious in Venice
Dear Curious:
I am reliably told that the MRI was ineffective in penetrating his skull due to its unusual thickness. So, doctors switched to a high-powered X-ray, and this is the image it returned:
DEAR MISS MINGO:
Regarding the Epstein files...When a document is redacted, does it mean that it had already been dacted once and now it’s being dacted a second time, hence the word - REdacted? This mystery has been bothering me for quite some time. Can you clarify this?
Jack from Bradenton
Dear Jack:
REally great question. I looked it up and a “dact” is “a metrical foot in poetry that has three syllables, with the first being stressed and the next two unstressed.” Next, you’re probably going to ask me what a metrical foot is, and my only guess is that it is 30.48 centimeters.
Or perhaps I should dig myself out of this rabbit hole and tell the truth, which is that just because a word has “re” in front of it, it doesn’t necessarily mean doing something over again, as in “rewrite this column,” which is what my editor suggested.
Redact comes from the Latin word redigere, meaning to bring back. The “re” part means “back,” and the root word is agere, meaning to drive or act or do. The word redact originally meant to edit or bring back into an organized form. Over time, it morphed to mean deleting sensitive information, like photos of Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein.
The thing is, English is not an original language. It’s like that lovable dog at the pound, a mixed breed with who knows how many mommies and daddies in its ancestry. So, English can be a little confusing sometimes, and it is constantly evolving.
That said, my guess is that the Epstein Files are going to get more than one swipe of the censor’s pen before they are released (the Latin root of which is laxare—to loosen.)
In which case, they will re-redacted. Or even re-re-redacted before they see the light of day.
Now, I’m going to reorder another Cuba Libre while I reread Ted Lund’s latest newsletter.
DEAR MISS MINGO
Who is this Ted Lund of whom you speak? You’ve mentioned him before, no?
Mary in Marathon
Dear Mary:
Ted Lund is a one-man journalistic army who reports on Key West (where I live) for his Substack site, Above the Fold. He was just named by Chris Cillizza as one of the top-five political writers in Florida. He is also one of the first people in the entire state to wish me well when I started this column. Congrats, Ted!
DEAR MISS MINGO:
Tell the truth. Was that previous question real or did you just make it up so you could squeeze in a plug for your pal, Ted?
Dubious in Dunedin
Dear Dubious:
I am seriously affronted that you would even ask such a thing.
DEAR MISS MINGO:
That is a non denial denial, is it not?
Gotcha in Gainesville
Dear Gotcha:
Aren’t you the clever one!
DEAR MISS MINGO:
Please be careful out there....we don’t want Deathsantis to demand that flamingos replace turkeys 😱 After living in Florida my entire 55 years, I am now allergic to mosquitoes 😖 Maybe we could start cooking invasive snakes? I’ve tried gator, turtle, frog legs, rabbit, and venison. I have it on good authority that snake is pretty tasty. My dad grilled a rattlesnake one time, but my mom wouldn’t let me try it. But never eat possum. They are adorable. We found one in our (open) dishwasher, licking a spoon. Carl, as my son called him, had to be trapped and released thrice until he was too big to get in....however he got in. Have a lovely week.
Rainbow Zee
💗💗💗
Dear Rainbow:
I love it that you used the word thrice! I’ve had rattlesnake. It’s gristly. Not sure about python, but if we could talk the tourons into believing it’s a delicacy, it might help clear the snakes out of the Everglades.
Better still, if we could talk the snowbirds into venturing into the ‘Glades themselves— because there’s just nothing like “fresh caught” boa constrictor—we might get a two-fer out of it.
DEAR MISS MINGO:
I miss the days of when Rick Scott was Florida’s governor. I often referred to him as “The Best Governor Money Can Buy.” Ron seems to be on another plane of existence. Any advice for my emotional state?
Roy-boy
Dear Roy-boy:
Not sure about Ron DeSantis’ “plane of existence,” but he will be flying out of the governor’s mansion soon enough.
Well, maybe not soon enough for some people, but his successor will be elected on Nov. 3, 2026—assuming we still have elections in America.
Got a question for Miss Mingo? About life, the news, or clever ways to avoid paying bar tabs? Write to her at MissMingo@Tropic.Press
Hermina Hermelinda Obregon—a.k.a. Miss Mingo—was an award-winning newspaper reporter before she involuntarily joined the diaspora of journalists leaving the newspaper profession. She now lives with her two cats—Deadline and Dateline—and her pet iguana Skippy. If you wander the streets (and bars) of Key West, you’ll doubtless run into her. She’ll be the woman wearing the ridiculous flamingo hat. If you want an autograph, you’ll have to buy her a Cuba Libre. There’s more about her here.
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Dear Miss Mingo. You and some other Americans remember when Vladimir Putin became the President of the Russian Federation, taking over from Boris Yeltsin. The Western press lauded him as a more sober but equally pliant replacement of the man who had been complicit in Western finance's efforts to take over the Russian economy (the Russian Oligarchs the 'Chicago Boys') and turn Russia into a neoliberal paradise. However, Putin did not play nice because in the Americans careless vetting they missed that he was a patriotic Russian nationalist.
Putin kicked the various hedge-funders and assorted moneymen out of Russia, prominently Bill Browder, who convinced Congress to pass the Magnitsky Act in revenge. But this was only the first calumny practiced by Western Wealth, who really, really wanted to get hold of Russian resources. And they still do. In short, America is a victim of a vast psyop. Neither Russia nor Putin is America's enemy. However, in Russian history, Russia has defended herself from every aggressive attack from the West. The US would fare no better than Napoleon or Hitler.