ONWARD THRU THE FOG: Turkeys will be on pins and needles this Thanksgiving -- and on Un-Thanksgiving, too
Navigate the coming days with this handy guide to upcoming events and anniversaries-- all designed to make you smartest person in the room -- or the Zoom!
Note to readers: Welcome to Onward Thru the Fog, a new feature that we hope to roll out each Monday as a friendly way to start your week. It’s little different and we hope you enjoy it. Let us know what you think.
This year, Thanksgiving falls on the date of another, lesser known, holiday: National Pins and Needles Day.
Which, when I first tripped upon this obscure celebration, I immediately presumed it referred to the anxiety turkeys must feel in the hours leading up to our annual national feast.
While it may be their finest hour, the 43 million birds we will consume this Thanksgiving might, given a choice, have other notions about how they’d prefer to spend the holiday.
Raccoons, on the other hand, seem safe. So secure, in fact, that when I queried the never-wrong internet, here’s the answer I got:
“It is impossible to know the exact number of raccoons that will be eaten on Thanksgiving, as it is not a common food and data is not collected, but the number is likely to be very low.”
That, however, wasn’t always the case.
Raccoons were once considered a tasty treat. Mark Twain in his 1879 book, A Tramp Abroad, lamented missing some of his favorite eats while in Europe, including possums and raccoons.
With that in mind, it wasn’t all that outrageous, then, when in 1927 a Mississippi woman presented President Calvin Coolidge with a female raccoon to be cooked for his holiday dinner.
But the little critter was too cute to eat, so Coolidge and his wife, Grace, named her Rebecca and kept her as a pet.
Extensive research fails to find any instances in which raccoons were the main White House dish. But I suppose anything is possible once President Donald Trump opens the kitchen in his new Gilded Age ballroom.
Also, as far as I can tell, no raccoons have been pardoned since Rebecca, although entire flocks of turkeys have.
In fact, Rudy Giuliani just got a reprieve, so add him to that list of turkeys let off the hook.
As for National Pins and Needles Day, it actually celebrates the wildly popular Broadway play by the same name that premiered on Nov. 27, 1937, with cast members from the International Ladies Garment Workers Union. The show ran for more than 1,100 performances.
Now you know.
The week ahead
Have you ever found yourself at a loss for conversation starters at a cocktail party? Here are some sure-fire bits of trivia bound to make you the smartest person in the room.
Today is All Our Uncles Are Monkeys Day. Also known as Evolution Day. It celebrates the publication in 1859 of Charles Darwin’s Origin of Species. Humans, Darwin theorized, evolved from a common ancestor with other primates, making monkeys our evolutionary “uncles.” But to be clear, we are not directly evolved from apes.
Footnote: We’ve also not evolved from bananas, even though we have 60 percent of our DNA in common.
November 25 is International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. “Violence against women and girls remains one of the most prevalent and pervasive human rights violations in the world,” according to the sponsors of this event. “Globally, almost one in three women have been subjected to physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence, non-partner sexual violence, or both, at least once in their life.”
Timely to note: This commemoration arrives just after Congress ordered the release of the Epstein Files, in case we needed a further reminder of how serious this issue is.
November 26. On this date in 1942, the greatest movie of all time premiered — yes, even better than Animal House. It was Casablanca starring Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman.
A few years ago, I visited Rick’s Café Casablanca, the recreation of the casino in the film, and now a popular Moroccan restaurant and tourist attraction. Had a wonderful meal. And caught Covid.
November 27. In addition to Thanksgiving, it’s also Un-Thanksgiving Day, an annual event that takes place on Alcatraz Island (the Alcatraz in San Francisco, not the one in the Everglades), honoring indigenous people and promoting their rights, part of Native American Heritage Month.
Why Un-Thanksgiving? Well, the natives could have let the Pilgrims starve, and things might have worked out better for them. Further evidence that no good deed goes unpunished.
Speaking of which:
The 53 survivors of the Mayflower celebrated their first harvest in the so-called New World in October 1621. They were joined by 90 Native American Wampanoag people.
It started badly when, in celebration, the Pilgrims began firing guns in the air. This alarmed the native people, who gathered for battle. Instead, they shared a meal. Thankfully, Publix wasn’t around then, so there were no guns allowed at the table.
Cool bit of trivia: It is completely unknown if turkey was served.
November 28. Black Friday, because nothing says “holiday spirit” like spending the night in a line outside Target to save $10 on an air fryer.
November 29. Today is National Chocolates Day. This is, obviously, another of these made-up holidays designed to benefit makers of chocolate candy, like that’s any reason not to celebrate. Remember: If it doesn’t have chocolate in it, it isn’t worth eating.
November 30. Hurricane season is officially over!
When I’m not writing for Tropic Press, I scribble a column for Florida Weekly that, I am pleased to note, was recently named Best Humor Column by the Florida Press Association. This article is taken partially from that column. You can get a head start on all the zany holidays and events year-round by checking out the newspaper’s online site, which publishes my column a week in advance:
J.C. Bruce, journalist and author, is the founder of Tropic Press. He holds dual citizenship in the United States of America and his native Florida.
Also today …
Your electric bill will soon take a big jump thanks to a decision by a relatively obscure state agency and a deal they’ve just cut with monopoly electric utility Florida Power & Light. Check your inbox for this report and a link to the Tropic Press website where investigative reporter Jason Garcia breaks it down for us.
Thanks to our sponsor
Today’s report is brought to you by The Light Fantastic 2: Amazing Pets, an anthology of hilarious science fiction short stories and novellas created by a hive of award-winning Florida writers. Now on sale. Get your copy here.
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We have 60 percent of our DNA in common with bananas? Thanks for that bit of trivia. Should be useful in a conversation someday.