MONTHLY MEMO: It's September and time for pro football, the start of Autumn, Talk Like a Pirate Day, and Read a Book Day
Check out all these events in the month ahead and use this newfound knowledge to become the wittiest conversationalist in the room--or the Zoom! Knowledge is power. Use it wisely.
Welcome to Labor Day, which this year is on the very first day of the month, and that’s unusual. It won’t happen again until 2031.
Sept. 1 also marks the first day of Autumn. Yeah, I know, if you consult your calendar, it will say Fall starts on Sept. 22, the autumnal equinox. But that’s astronomical autumn, which is different from meteorological autumn.
According to climate experts, the average temperatures in September are lower than August, so that means Sept. 1 is the actual start of the next season.
Astronomers and meteorologists have been arguing about this forever.
There’s much more happening in the ninth month of 2025. Let’s dive in:
Day-by-day
Sept.1. Labor Day. Created to honor American workers, Labor Day has morphed into one of the biggest shopping days of the year in which many—if not most—retail employees (you know, actual laborers) have to work. Here’s a thought: Would it kill corporate America to just take the day off?
Sept. 2. World Coconut Day. We love our palm trees here in Florida where I live. But coconut palms aren’t actually native to the Sunshine State. Southeast Asia is their original home. No matter, coconuts are good for you. They’re rich in nutrients and may help to lower bad (LDL) cholesterol. Chopping coconuts can be a great form of exercise, too. I know. I’ve seen the videos.
Sept. 3. The War of Independence ended on this day in 1783, marking the beginning of America as the world’s biggest democracy. Then, 86,688 days later, a wild mob egged on by a defeated president stormed the U.S. Capitol on Sept. 6, 2021, and tried to bring it to an end.
Sept. 4. The National Football League begins its regular season tonight when the Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles take on the Dallas Cowboys. Kickoff is at 8:20 p.m. ET on NBC.
Sept. 5. And then Taylor Swift’s fiance, Travis Kelce, and the rest of the Kansas City Chiefs (losers of last season’s Super Bowl) take on the L.A. Chargers for the second game of the season. The Dolphins play Sunday. Fins Up!
Sept. 5. Hamilton is coming to the big screen. If you missed it on Broadway, now’s your chance to catch the hit play Hamilton, recorded live and to be shown in theaters starting today.
Sept. 6 is Read a Book Day. Oddly, Buy a Book Day is tomorrow. Shouldn’t you buy the book first? Maybe this is for people who get their books from the library. Which, let me hasten to add, is a tremendous idea.
Sept. 7. You can take advantage of Buy a Book Day, which is today, with these suggestions:
Sept. 6-7. For you tennis fans, this is the final weekend of the U.S. Open. The Women’s Single Championship match is scheduled for Sept. 6 (4 p.m. ET on ESPN) and the Men’s Singles Championship on Sept. 7 (2 p.m. ET on ABC).
Sept. 8. Star Trek Day celebrates the 59th anniversary of the premiere of the show that brought us Capt. James T. Kirk, Spock, Bones, Scotty, Nyota Uhuru, Pavel Chekov, Hikaru Sulu and the rest of the show’s diverse cast. Cool trivia: Creator Gene Roddenberry got some unusual help developing the concept from a visitor who was literally out of this world. You can read that story here:
Sept. 9 is Teddy Bear Day. Fun history with this popular children’s toy. In 1902, President Theodore “Teddy” Roosevelt was hunting when he ran across a bear cub, and he decided not to shoot it. His act of kindness became a national sensation, and a New York store owner made a stuffed bear named in his honor. Ironically, just as this anniversary arrives, the State of Florida has reinstated Bear Hunting Season.
Sept. 10. On this day in 1993, The X-Files premiered and would become one of the greatest shows of all television history. So, what are Fox Mulder and Dana Scully doing these days? What sort of weird mysteries are they solving? Sources tell me they’ve been assigned to the strangest case of their careers. “Attorney General Pam Bondi called them into her office,” I was told. “She told them, and I quote: ‘The files. The Epstein Files. They were right here. On my desk. Now they’re missing. You gotta find them.’”
Sept. 11. Patriot Day, marking the anniversary of the terrorist attacks of 2001, a day that will live in infamy.
Sept. 12. Downton Abbey fans rejoice. It’s back—for the last time. Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale premieres today in theaters.
Sept. 12 is also National Chocolate Milkshake Day. Who do you think makes the best milkshake? I’m arguing for Shake Shack. You got a fave? Tell me here:
Sept. 13. Uncle Sam Day. During the War of 1812, a New York meatpacker named Samuel Wilson supplied food to United States soldiers in barrels stamped with the initials “U.S.” Soldiers who knew him called him Uncle Sam and, subsequently, all U.S. government property began being called Uncle Sam’s.
Sept. 14. The 77th Emmy Awards will be televised tonight on CBS starting at 8 p.m. Here’s a list of the nominees:
Sept. 15. National Double Cheeseburger Day. In the past, I’ve run polls in these Monthly Memos asking readers to nominate their favorite burger joints. To no surprise, the clear winner in this nationwide contest always turns out to be Jucys Hamburgers in Longview, Texas, where I once lived. It’s possible you may have another favorite. Feel free to share:
Sept. 16. Today is Mayflower Day marking the anniversary of the ship’s departure from Plymouth, England, in 1620 bound for the New World with a boatload of Puritans. Two months later, they landed in what would become Massachusetts. Lacking visas, they lucked out and weren’t intercepted by I.C.E. agents and sent to Alligator Alcatraz.
Sept. 17. Constitution Day. On this day in 1787, the U.S. Constitution was signed in Philadelphia. Constitution Day could also rightly be known as No Kings Day since it spelled out the separation of powers among the Executive, Legislative, and Judicial branches of government—all designed to ensure that the United States would not end up as a monarchy, dictatorship, or any other undemocratic form of government.
Sept. 18. Read an eBook Day. So, here’s some great news: All those books I recommended earlier in this column for Read a Book Day? They are all available as eBooks, too. Is this a great country or what!
Sept. 19 is Talk Like a Pirate Day. So, exactly how do you do it (and never mind why)? Here are five expressions you can toss around today to impress your friends and annoy your frenemies. Try growling a bit while you talk, or slur like Captain Jack Sparrow for additional authenticity:
Ahoy! "Hello!" or a general greeting to get someone's attention.
Avast ye! A command to "stop" or "pay attention."
Shiver me timbers! An expression of shock, surprise, or disbelief, as if the ship's timbers were shaking from a blow.
Dead men tell no tales. A ruthless statement implying that any witnesses or survivors of a pirate attack will be eliminated so they cannot reveal the pirates' secrets or whereabouts.
Arrrgh! A versatile sound used to express a range of emotions, such as excitement, anger, agreement, or general emphasis.
Sept. 20. Batman Day celebrates the World’s Greatest Detective, a.k.a. the Dark Knight, or, if you prefer, the Caped Crusader. His real name is Bruce Wayne. How’d he get that monicker? Here’s the story: When the creators of Batman were trying to invent a secret identity for him, they combined the names of two famous heroes: Robert the Bruce (the king of Scotland and my ancestral namesake) and Revolutionary War Gen. Mad Anthony Wayne.
Sept. 21. Wife Appreciation Day. Pro tip for you spouses out there: EVERY day is wife appreciation day if you’re smart.
Sept. 22. Autumnal Equinox and the start of Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year.
Sept. 23. National Dogs in Politics Day, honoring the canine pals of our political leaders. Among the First Dogs of the United States (FDOTUS) were Teddy Roosevelt’s Skip, Herbert Hoover’s King Tut, Franklin D. Roosevelt’s black Scottie Fala, Lyndon B. Johnson’s rescue pup Yuki, Jimmy Carter’s Grits, Ronald and Nancy Reagan’s Millie (and her six puppies), and Joe Biden’s Commander. The current commander-in-chief, Donald Trump, has no pets. He is one of only three presidents ever to go petless. You’d think with his affinity for the precious metal, he’d at least have a gold fish.
Sept. 24. TYday iz natioNal Punkuation Day.
Sept. 25. One Hit Wonder Day. According to the never-wrong internet, some well-known one-hit wonders include:
"Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice, "Macarena" by Los del Rio, "Mambo No. 5" by Lou Bega, and "Come On Eileen" by Dexys Midnight Runners. Other highly successful one-hit wonders, often cited in various "best of" lists, include "Somebody That I Used to Know" by Gotye, "Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum, and "Barbie Girl" by Aqua.
Sept. 26—Sept. 28. The annual Ryder Cup golf tournament will be held at Bethpage Black course in Farmingdale, N.Y. Watch it on TV on NBC, USA Network and the Golf Channel.
Sept. 27. National Crush a Can Day. Not sure who came up with this, but it conjures images from National Lampoon’s Animal House when John Belushi’s Bluto Blutarsky tried to cheer up fraternity brother Flounder (Stephen Furst) by crunching a beer can on his forehead. According to IMDb, the scene had to be filmed multiple times because the actors kept cracking up.
Sept. 28. Ask a Stupid Question Day. Is there such a thing as a stupid question, really, or is that a stupid question?
Sept. 29. Confucius Day, honoring the great Chinese teacher. My favorite of his many wise and ageless sayings:
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
Which, for you Batman fans, may sound familiar, as in the scene in Batman Begins when a young Bruce Wayne falls into a well and his dad comforts him with:
Why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.
Sept. 30. National Chewing Gum Day. I have no idea who thought this one up, but you know the saying: “I can walk and chew gum at the same time.” Well, I can’t. I can’t even sit and chew gum at the same time. Not without biting the inside of my cheek, which is why I never chew gum and why I will not be celebrating this day with you. But you be you.
Strange Correspondence
At the first of every month in my Monthly Memo, I answer letters from readers of The Strange Files series featuring Alexander Strange, America’s preeminent weird news reporter who, naturally, operates out of Florida. From a fishing trawler. With a hole in the side. In drydock. And a mannequin guarding his hatch.
Dear J.C.
I see you used a photo of Mona, Alexander Strange’s weird mannequin, to illustrate that item on Talk Like a Pirate Day. Seems to me this isn’t the first time you’ve used that picture. Isn’t this just a cheap way to keep pimping your books, and aren’t you just a little ashamed of yourself with this blatant commercialization?
G. Santos
You are so observant. I have, indeed, used this picture before. I have others. Would you like me to share them with you? Oh, wait. That qualifies as a stupid question, doesn’t it? Here’s another:
Dear J.C.:
Okay, so you have more than one picture of Mona, but you never answered the question regarding your shameless self-promotion, which, not to put too fine a point on it, you just did with that book cover.
J. Belfort
Well, since you people insist on pressing the point, of course I’m embarrassed. I’m a writer not a huckster. I used to have people for that, but they all quit. Something about feeling uncomfortable working in close quarters with someone who spends all day talking to mannequins. People can be so weird.
Dear J.C.
Since we’re talking about self-promotion, is it true you’ve started appearing on my Southwest Florida talk radio show on Fridays at 8:10 a.m. on WGUF (98.9 FM)? And that if I didn’t keep the conversation going, we’d have nothing but dead air?
Dave Elliot
So true. You know how to keep a conversation flowing.
Dear J.C.
There’s no way on Earth that Dave Elliot would have written that. You just faked it, didn’t you? Confess and apologize.
W. Cronkite
Okay, you got me. I promise never to do that again forever. But he does invite me on his show, which is pretty cool.
Parting Shot
J.C. Bruce, journalist and author, is the founder of Tropic Press. He holds dual citizenship in the United States of America and his native Florida. Share this email with your friends. They will love you for it.
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