Welcome to September: Time for Labor Day, football, hurricanes, politics, and Batman

Read this monthly newsletter and be the smartest person in the room or the Zoom. Then share with friends so you can have, you know, smarter friends!

We kick off September with Labor Day, a three-day weekend and a fabulous time to buy a new mattress or dishwasher, or so all those annoying advertisements say. It’s one of the busiest shopping weekends of the year.

Essential Labor Day Facts:

The first Labor Day holiday was celebrated in New York City in 1882 to recognize the achievements of American workers.

Labor Day is the end of the hot dog season. Yep, there is one, starting on Memorial Day. During that time, Americans will eat 7 billion wieners.

Teachers comprise America’s biggest union. It’s the National Education Association with about 3 million members, active and retired.

Seasons, They Are a-Changing

Most people consider September the start of autumn, and climatologists agree that, weather-wise, it is indeed when summer gives way to fall. That despite the autumnal equinox not arriving until Sept. 22. Why the difference? Meteorologists base seasonal change on average temperatures; calendar-makers go by astronomy. It’s actually very interesting, and here’s a link to a story that explains it.

Hurricane Season Spools Up

September is the busiest month for the Atlantic hurricane season, Sept. 10 being the historic peak day. Some essential facts:

• This season’s lineup of hurricane names is: Alberto, Beryl, Chris, Debby, Ernesto, Francine, Gordon, Helene, Isaac, Joyce, Kirk, Leslie, Milton, Nadine, Oscar, Patty, Rafael, Sara, Tara, Valerie, and William.

• A typical hurricane is about 300 miles across.

• The highest winds in a hurricane are in the eyewall, the area surrounding the eye of the storm, which is relatively calm and clear.

• Hurricanes rotate counterclockwise in the northern hemisphere; clockwise below the equator.

Kick Off

For football fans, this is when the fun begins. College games have just gotten underway, and the NFL launches it’s regular season on Sept. 5, a Thursday night game between Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs and Baltimore Ravens.

For your planning purposes, this season’s collegiate championship game will be held in Atlanta on Jan. 20. New Orleans will host the Super Bowl on Feb. 9.

The schedules:

• College Football Playoff Schedule

• NFL Schedule

Strange Bedfellows

Labor Day weekend also marks the traditional start of the political season, although that’s a bit anachronistic these days as candidates have been on the campaign trail for months now.

With both political conventions behind us, and with Donald Trump’s assassination attempt and President Joe Biden’s withdrawal fading memories, the next headline act is the upcoming debate between Vice President Kamala Harris and former President Trump. It is scheduled to be broadcast on ABC on Sept. 10 at 9 p.m. ET.

BTW, The first televised presidential debate — between Richard Nixon and John F. Kennedy — took place on Sept. 26, 1960. Kennedy crushed Nixon on TV; those who heard the debate on radio thought Nixon won. (Barry Goldwater once told me he met JFK on the floor of the Senate after the debate and asked him what his secret was. “I sprinkled gold dust in my hair before they turned the cameras on,” Kennedy told him.)

More Essential Calendar Items

Sept. 1 — National Pet Rock Day. (Why anyone would want to pet a rock is beyond me. But here at the Essential News Letter we do not judge.)

Sept. 3 — The American Revolution ended on this day in 1783.

Sept. 4 — It’s Newspaper Carrier Day!

Sept. 5 — Lost on Space. Today marks the third month astronauts Suni Williams and Butch Wilmore have been stranded on the International Space Station. Thanks, Boeing. More on this here.

Sept. 6 — National Read a Book Day. Which is a holiday near and dear to my heart, and if I may be so bold as to suggest some reading material for your enjoyment, you might check this out:

Sept. 7 — National Buy a Book Day. (See above for suggestions.)

Star Trek Day is Sept. 8. On this day in 1966, the iconic TV series premiered. But it never would have happened without the intervention of a space alien nicknamed Scribbles. Here’s that story.

Sept. 9 — Apple’s annual big fall reveal. This year, according to MacRumors, will showcase the latest iPhone and Apple Watch releases as well as new chips that will, among other things, support artificial intelligence features. More on this here.

Sept. 11 — It’s the anniversary of the 2001 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and the passengers aboard hijacked United Airlines Flight 93 that crashed in Pennsylvania. The preceding weekend is the National Days of Prayer and Remembrance.

Sept. 12 — National Chocolate Milkshake Day (and if it’s not chocolate what’s the point?)

Sept. 13 — National Peanut Butter Day (and here at the Essential News Letter we do not do blatant product placement — mainly because nobody has offered to pay us for it — but it just has to be said that in the realm of off-the-shelf peanut butters, nothing beats Jif Extra Crunchy. Feel free to dissent if you dare.)

Sept. 14 — Gobstopper Day. (If you have to ask, you really need to see Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory).

The 76th Annual Emmy Awards will be broadcast live from the Peacock Theater in Los Angeles on Sept. 15 from 8-11 p. ET. Shogun leads the list of nominees. Others include The Bear, Only Murders in the Building, and The Crown. Here’s a complete list.

Sept. 16 — Collect a Rock Day (boulder if you’re braver).

Sept. 17 — National Pet Bird Day. (Yeah, it’s tough, I know, they tend to fly off when you approach them, but do your best and try to pet one anyway, but watch out for that bird flu.)

Sept. 18 — The Federal Reserve Board will meet and is expected to — FINALLY! — cut interest rates.

Also on Sept. 18 — Trump’s sentencing for his 34 felony convictions is before a New York judge, just seven weeks before the presidential election. However, Trump’s lawyers have asked for a delay, and prosecutors have deferred to Justice Juan Merchan. So, we’ll see.

Yet, again, on Sept. 18 — It’s National Cheeseburger Day. Who makes the best burger? I polled readers on this in a previous newsletter, and the consensus winner was anyone’s hometown burger joint. Here are some famous burger quotes:

• “Burgers are the ultimate culinary indulgence.” —Emeril Lagasse

• “A burger is a work of art that satisfies both hunger and soul.” —Julia Child

• “A hamburger is perfection wrapped up in a bun.” —Anthony Bourdain

Sept. 19 — Talk Like a Pirate Day. Because why not?

National Punch Day is Sept. 20. (I looked this one up because it seemed to me that encouraging people to hit one another was a bad idea, but it actually refers to the stuff you spike at parties.)

Sept. 21 is the International Day of Peace (unless your name is Vladimir Putin). Speaking of Putin, Sept. 21 is also International Pick Up Your Putins Day. Why? Because as we all know, Putins are unsightly, smelly, and unhealthy, and the world is a cleaner, nicer place without them.

Sept. 22 — Autumnal equinox. What time will the sun rise and set on this day? Check out this calculator as times vary by location.

Sept. 23 — Planet Neptune was discovered on this day in 1846. The planet Pluto was discovered later, then demoted. A day that will live in infamy.

Batman Day is Sept. 24, marking the 85th anniversary of the Caped Crusader’s debut in the comics. He’s a superhero without super powers. Just an ordinary guy, an orphan like Superman, with a violent personality disorder and billions of dollars with which to indulge his psychoses. He may be getting a little long in the fangs, but, hey, he’s a bat. Happy anniversary, Bruce Wayne.

Sept. 24 is also National Punctuation Day; Don't let limitted vocabulistics hold you back. This is a grate thyme to brake out you're old gammer books: and study up so you can talk and right gooder. 

Sept. 25 — National Comic Book Day. (Yeah, Batman beat them to the punch.)

Sept. 26 — “Book ‘em Danno.” The original Hawaii Five-O premiered on this day in 1968.

Sept. 27 — World Tourist Day (where I live in Florida that’s every day).

Sept. 28 — Ask a Stupid Question Day. I googled this and came up with these examples:

• Which color has the worst personality?

• If you could give a name to your favorite kitchen appliance, what would it be?

• Which season would you be and why?

• Which school subject is the most embarrassing?

Sept. 29 — National Coffee Day (that’s every day at my house.)

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Readers Write:

Dear J.C.

Thinking about Batman Day, him being a billionaire and all, I was wondering if Bruce Wayne and that other billionaire, Tony Stark (a.k.a. Iron Man), ever met? And who’s smarter?

B. Kane

Amazingly, yes. There was a Justice League/Avengers comic book mashup series where they met. Didn’t get along too well. As for who was smarter, extensive research on the never-wrong internet suggests Tony Stark had an IQ of 270 versus Bruce Wayne’s meager 192. Then again, Stark got himself killed and Bruce is still ticking. So, I guess it depends on how you define your terms.

Dear. J.C.

You didn’t mention that September is Be Kind to Editors and Writers Month. Is there a reason for that?

B. Woodward

Yes. Writers and editors thrive on discontent, discomfort, maybe dysentery, too, for all I know. Show me a happy writer and I’ll show you a guy stuck on the obit desk. It’s the job of editors to torment writers; it is the job of writers to make editors pull their hair out.

Dear J.C.

So, Talk Like a Pirate Day. I’m surprised you didn’t take the opportunity earlier in the newsletter to tout Mona, the pirate mannequin in all those Strange Files books of yours. Reason?

J. Depp

Figured I’d let you do that for me. Thanks. My best to Amber. And speaking of all those books, check the shameless advertising at the bottom of the newsletter.

Dear J.C.

You’re really tooling us around with this month’s newsletter, aren’t you? Boulder is braver? That’s the worst pun ever. Petting rocks and birds? That’s so corny it isn’t even worthy of dad joke status.

D. Chappelle

Harsh. Tough room. How about these, then?

• Why do dolphins sing off-key? Because you can't tuna fish.

• Did you hear about the invisible man who went to the doctor? He’s still waiting to be seen.

• Why did the teacher go to the eye doctor? She couldn't control her pupils.

That’s all, folks!

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Parting Shot

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J.C. Bruce is a journalist and author of The Strange Files series of mysterious novels (available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, other online booksellers, and at selected libraries). He also writes this monthly newsletter. He holds dual citizenship in the United States of America and Florida, and was recently awarded an honorary doctorate degree from Miami’s Lightgate Institute of Extranormal Studies, which he totally made up for his book Strange Timing.

Sponsored by TROPIC PRESS, publisher of The Strange Files Series of Mysterious Adventures.