You can't really kazoo if you're kazoo-less
JESSENTIAL NEWS. January 19, 2026. Florida Weekly
A very significant holiday is fast approaching, and I have a crisis on my hands.
It’s National Kazoo Day, which arrives, as it does every year, on Jan. 28.
My crisis? Well, last year, National Kazoo Day slipped right by me, which I viewed as a lost social media opportunity. I had this notion that I would grab my kazoo and hum a few tunes on TikTok to celebrate the holiday, which would be a huge hit, and I would go viral, get famous, and make tons of money as the Kazoo Day King.
Or something.
Well, okay, I wasn’t really that ambitious or deluded, but I did think playing the kazoo online would be a hoot.
Small problem: I didn’t happen to own a kazoo. Actually, I don’t own any musical instruments, not even a harmonica.
But I figured Amazon could solve that problem. And it did. In spades.
Next thing you know, there was a bag of 20 kazoos on my doorstep. I imagine it’s possible to order a single kazoo—I haven’t inquired lately, and I really hate to interrupt typing this column to do any actual fact checking—but they were cheap. Something like ten bucks if I remember correctly—which is an issue we are about to address.
Yeah, my memory. See, National Kazoo Day is about to arrive, and that bag of kazoos I ordered can now be put to good purpose, but there’s a small problem:
It was a whole year ago they arrived. I remember taking a few out of that bag, and I am embarrassed to confess that I actually had to go online to figure out how to play the silly things. And, no, you don’t blow through them like a harmonica, which is what I had assumed, never having previously kazooed
You hum.
So, I hummed a few tunes around the house—Ringo Starr’s Yellow Submarine, my personal fave—until my wife begged me to stop. Then I stashed my bag of kazoos in a safe place to be retrieved later so I could, finally, pursue my dream as a social media kazoo celeb.
I’m sure you’re already ahead of me. That’s right, I have no idea where I hid them.
And now National Kazoo Day is rapidly approaching, and I am kazoo-less.
I am definitely not humming a happy tune right now.
Maybe I’ll start a GoFundMe to reacquire the missing instruments, or maybe, just maybe, I could root around the landfill that is my office and actually find them. But that could take forever. Which is why cleaning my office was NOT one of my New Year’s resolutions.
And, besides, National Clean Your Desk Day was Jan. 12, so it’s too late for that now.
But why look when you can ask?
So, I trooped downstairs and asked She Who Must Be Obeyed: “Oh, Sandy, dear, have you seen my kazoos?”
To which she replied: “You’re not right.”
Looking Ahead
January 23. National Pie Day. Not to be confused with National Pi Day, which is on March 14 (because, you know, 3.14). What’s the best pie? Opinions vary, naturally, but top contenders are Apple, Pumpkin, Pecan and Key Line—a Florida fave.
January 24. Beer Can Appreciation Day. This sounds odd, I know. But I actually have two beer cans in my office, twisted, soldered into a camera and a car, made in Havana from Bucanero Fuerte beer cans. (Bucanero is very good, by the way.)
January 25. Opposite Day. So, here’s how this works. All day long, you say the opposite of what you mean. You walk up to someone and say goodbye instead of hello, for instance. You do this all day long to everyone you meet until the guys with straightjackets show up. Then you run.
January 26. It’s Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day. Popping bubble wrap can be an effective stress reliever. It’s also a great way to clear a room.
January 27 is Punch the Clock Day. And where do you punch a clock? In the face, of course.
January 28. National Kazoo Day has arrived, and here are eight songs by famous musicians and bands that actually feature the kazoo:
“When I Get to Heaven” – John Prine.
“San Francisco Bay Blues (Live Acoustic)” – Eric Clapton.
“Cool, Calm And Collected” – The Rolling Stones.
“Skinned” – Blind Melon.
“You’re Sixteen” – Ringo Starr.
“Corporal Clegg” – Pink Floyd.
“Jugband Blues” – Pink Floyd.
J.C. Bruce is an award-winning journalist and author of the Strange Files series of mysterious adventures. He holds dual citizenship in the United States of America and Florida. Check out his website, jcbruce.com, for details on how to order copies of his books. Copyright, 2026, J.C.Bruce.