Forget the Epstein Files, we have a real crisis on our hands: the growing threat of Sharia Law. Or so we're told.

News and views for thoughtful Floridians

How many distractions can Donald Trump’s accomplices concoct to keep us from thinking about the Epstein Files?

A lot, it seems.

And Florida lawmakers—and our governor—are certainly trying to do their part.

In both Congress and at the State Legislature, Republicans have found a new target for the public’s fleeting attention span, a just-now-discovered threat to our way of life, vastly more in need of addressing than the records of the world’s most infamous child molester and his friends in high places.

This clear and present danger?

Sharia law.

The first in the cast of characters who have signed on to this bit of flimflam is Florida’s U.S. Rep. Randy Fine, who before dabbling in politics was a gaming industry exec. His Wikipedia page notes his penchant for “bare knuckle” politics.

He’s filed a bill dubbed the “No Sharia Act.” It’s in the early stages of legislative sausage making, having been introduced on September 19, around the time House Speaker Mike Johnson sent Republicans home on semi-permanent vacay to prevent a vote on releasing the Epstein Files.

Fine has a partner in crime over in the Senate, Alabama Republican Tommy Tuberville, a legislator so dense you could use him as radiation shielding. He filed a companion bill on October 15. Unlike the House, the Senate is actually still in session.

Two points of order:

In case you are unfamiliar, Sharia Law, according to the never wrong internet, is: “the religious law of Islam, derived from the Quran and the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad, that governs a Muslim’s life. It covers both spiritual practices like prayer and fasting, and aspects of daily life such as family law, finance, and ethical conduct. Islamic scholars interpret Sharia, which includes both divine principles and their interpretation, to provide a comprehensive code for living for Muslims.”

What would the “No Sharia Act” do, exactly? It would “prevent Sharia law from being applied in U.S. courts or public institutions, particularly when it conflicts with the Constitution.”

NEWS FLASH: You don’t need a new law to prevent unconstitutional law. Any such proposal would be — how to say this gently? — unconstitutional. That’s why we have courts.

In any event, when was the last time somebody at your city council or county commission or the State Legislature proposed adopting Sharia Law?

Don’t recall? Me, neither.

However, I do recollect a county commissioner where I live in Florida wanting to put copies of the Ten Commandments in public buildings. But that’s OK, I guess, if you’re a proponent of turning American into a theocracy. A Christian theocracy, mind you, forget those annoying separation-of-church-and-state prohibitions in the First Amendment.

But when it comes to cheesy theatrics, why let Congress grab all the limelight?

Now comes Florida’s very own “No Sharia Act.” In October, State Representative Hillary Cassel filed a bill that mirrors the federal “No Sharia Act.” The legislation seeks to declare any court decisions, contracts, or administrative rulings based on Sharia or other foreign laws to be null and void if they violate the U.S. or state constitutions.

Duh! They already are.

And Gov. DeSantis has jumped on the circus wagon endorsing all these anti-Sharia efforts. Meaning, he would be pleased to sign them into law.

Some concern has been expressed about Muslim communities or Muslim schools springing up like wildflowers all over the state. We can’t have that in the Free State of Florida. Religion-centered communities are off limits—unless, of course, you’re Ave Maria in eastern Collier County, as one example. That’s OK. It’s Christian.

As for religious based schools? Um, I think we crossed that bridge a long time ago.

And, anyway, if we’re going to go out of our way to address nonsensical threats, why stop with Sharia Law? Let your imagination run wild. How about:

Ban Space Aliens From Office Act. Which would be totally ridiculous. Any visitor from Alpha Centauri is far too smart to run for elective office and, besides, they’d already be in Alligator Alcatraz.

Bone Spurs Awareness Act. A crash federal program to find a cure for the dreaded bone spur “which has kept far too many otherwise heroic, genius-level American men from serving in the military.”

Don’t Bulldoze the White House Act. Because who in the right mind would even consider such a monstrous act?

But even though my examples are silly, the actual proposed intrusions on religious freedom are no laughing matter regardless of how they’re presented as efforts to protect the Constitution from nonexistent threats of Islamic traditions.

As noted by the Council on American-Islamic Relations, the U.S. Constitution’s Supremacy Clause already prevents foreign law from overriding American law.

But the law isn’t really what this is about, is it?

It’s feeding red meat to the MAGA cult and hoping people will just forget about Epstein. But it isn’t going away.

Footnote:

I am concerned—not for Americans—but in general about Sharia Law and women’s rights.

Various religions enforce paternalistic rules that limit the role of women in society. Last time I checked there aren’t any women in the running for Pope. And they’re ineligible to preside over the Mormons, too. The list goes on.

And there are no shortages of right-wing mouthpieces, past and present, who want to turn the clock back on women’s rights.

As the late Charlie Kirk opined:

“Just get married early. Reject the siren song of modernity and have lots of kids.”

Could Sharia Law be worse? Sure. Depends on where and how it is practiced. This is what I gleaned from a brief online survey of the question. While I realize this is a quick once-over, I felt I couldn’t poke fun at these transparently phony efforts to ban the institution of Sharia law here without at least covering a bit of territory on how women are treated.

The relationship between Sharia law and women’s rights is complex, as interpretations vary widely, leading to both restrictions and advancements. Some countries interpret Sharia to impose male guardianship, limit women’s legal autonomy, and restrict their rights to work and travel. Conversely, many Muslim women and scholars use Sharia’s core principles of justice and equality to argue for and achieve gender equality within an Islamic framework, often reinterpreting texts and drawing on the historical roles of women.

In all cases, within the boundaries of the United States—including Florida—any customs, no matter if you call them “laws”—have to conform to the Constitution.

Stonings and animal sacrifices aren’t condoned, either, even though they play prominent roles in the Christian Bible.

The law trumps. And it doesn’t need to be cluttered by nonsense.

What do you think? Share your views by clicking on the COMMENTS link at the end of this newsletter. Thanks!

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Florida Factual

Florida’s Muslim population is approximately 127,172, making it the 12th-largest in the U.S. This community is diverse, with origins from various regions including South Asia, Africa, and Arab countries, and is concentrated in major metropolitan areas like Tampa and Orlando.

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