It's time to start planning your New Year's resolutions. Here's a helpful guide

News and views for discerning Floridians and others who only wish they weren't digging out of the snow right now

The clock is ticking, and soon 2025 will give way to the start of the second quarter of the 21st century. Which means it’s time to start planning our New Year’s resolutions.

And why do we do this?

The ritual began about 4,000 years ago in the town of Babylon when somebody got the bright idea that the start of the new year would be a great time to:

1. Pay their debts.

2. Return all borrowed objects.

3. Live forever.

Actually, not sure about that third goal, and, clearly, it landed on the scrap heap of failed resolutions, which is where most of our goals end up. But wouldn’t it be nice if we were more successful at this annual endeavor?

I’ve done a little research on this topic, and studies show that between 80 and 90 percent of New Year’s resolutions fail in the first few weeks. But there are things we can do to improve those odds.

Let’s take a real-life example. Say you’re the sitting president of the United States, and instead of believing you were perfect in every way, you realized you had opportunities for self-improvement.

You could start by:

Narrowing your goals. For instance, instead of resolving to “lose the enormous pot belly,” you could make a goal to, say, “get down to that 215 pounds I claimed I weighed.”

Breaking each goal into smaller, more achievable parts. Using the weight loss example, breaking it into, say, fifty smaller goals of losing a pound a week.

Being specific. How will you lose a pound a week? More time walking; less time in the golf cart? Cutting back on the cheeseburgers? Write down what you’re willing to do and what you’re going to give up to make it happen.

Keep your list small. Achieving even one goal can be a huge boost to most people’s self-esteem, maybe even malignant narcissists.

Now, for the rest of us, we can take that general advice and apply it to our own personal circumstances.

But I thought it would be helpful to see if there was a list out there somewhere of sure-fire, easily accomplished goals that we all can model. I did not find a consensus list, but here’s an amalgamation of some goals that do seem to have higher-than-average success rates. I also shared this with readers of my Florida Weekly column.

Drink one extra glass of water each day. Water is good for you. In fact, your body is about 60 percent water—unless you’re my friend Ray, who is 20 percent water and 40 percent bourbon.

Let’s face it, if you can’t succeed at drinking a glass of water, you might want to stop right here because the rest of these goals do not get easier.

Read a book. Even if it is only one. Reading is good for your brain, so much better than social media videos. It builds neurons. And if you don’t know what a neuron is, then you definitely need to start reading more.

The big question is fiction or nonfiction? Sure, you could tackle a hilarious, literate, adventuresome Florida-themed book like one of mine, but I don’t want to drift into shilling my own stuff. There are other authors out there, too. I suppose.

Call a friend instead of texting. Yes, I know, this is a toughie. And very old-fashioned. Texting is so convenient, no need for drawn-out conversation, and as long as you don’t start to reply and those little typing bubbles give you away, you can always pretend not to have seen his or her or their message.

But all the research shows that adding human connections to your life increases longevity. Of course, it depends on the human with whom you’re connecting.

Practice deep breathing when stressed. Breathing is good for you. In fact, if you stop breathing, there’s an excellent chance the next time someone tries to text you, you won’t have to worry about dodging them at all.

Add one vegetable to a meal each day. So-called health experts allege that veggies are good for you. So, this is one of those very doable goals. Tell the counter person at Five Guys you want extra fries with your double cheeseburger. Job done!

(Or you could do like me and eat broccoli every day. If you do, you will, unlike the Babylonians, live forever. If you don’t, and you die someday, don’t say I didn’t warn you.)

Learn how to fake sincerity like a normal human with a semblance of empathy (as opposed to a malignant narcissist). Sure, it can be tough sometimes. But start with finding something nice to say to someone each day and not crack up laughing.

You can do it! I believe in you.

And I say that with all sincerity.

J.C. Bruce is the founder of Tropic Press, a journalist, and award-winning author. He holds dual citizenship in the United States of America and his native Florida.

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