WEEKLY WRAP: You can't win them all, but Trump still gets a trophy for his Iran war
Your curated summary of the top news from the previous week, plus a look ahead to coming events. And more.
The Week Ahead
Voter registration deadline is fast approaching
If you have not yet registered to vote in the upcoming Florida primary election, you still have time. But just barely
The deadline is tomorrow, Monday, July 20. This is also the deadline to change your party affiliation, if you choose to do so, for the August 18 primary.
In Florida, unlike many other states, you must either be registered as a Republican or Democrat to vote for candidates in the major party races. Independents—also known as NPAs or No Party Affiliation—are barred from voting in the two major parties’ primaries even though all Florida taxpayers pay the bill for these elections.
In the Sunshine State, that means 3.3 million NPAs will only be allowed to vote in nonpartisan races, such as judges or school board candidates. There are also nearly half a million other voters registered to minor parties.
To register, check your registration, or change your registration, go to:
RegisterToVoteFlorida.gov.
That Was The Week That Was
Trump wins ‘Participation Trophy’
The war in Iran was over, then it was back on. The Strait of Hormuz was open, then closed. It has been so confusing. But one thing seems clear—at least to many Americans—and that is that Donald Trump lost this unnecessary war.
In his honor, an organization known as Secret Handshake erected a 10-foot-tall “Participation Trophy” on the National Mall. Since then, dozens of other fake trophies mocking the president have been added.
The plaque reads:
“We hereby award President Donald J. Trump this participation trophy for his enthusiastic involvement in the Iran War. While some concern themselves with military strategy, diplomacy, or measurable outcomes, President Trump demonstrated the courage to participate regardless of the final score. As recipient of this prestigious award, President Trump joins the ranks of children everywhere who receive recognition for simply showing up. We join you in celebrating this remarkable achievement.”
Trump acts like he’s the only president snubbed by networks
Trump, angry that so many television networks and news channels did not broadcast his speech to the nation live last week, has threatened to cancel their broadcast licenses.
“Fraud like this should mean a revocation of their licenses,” he declared Thursday.
For the record, it has always been common for networks to determine whether or not to preempt regular programming when a president asks. It depends: Is this an emergency, or is this just politicking?
Clearly, Trump was just propagandizing on Thursday when he rehashed his hurt feelings about losing the presidential election in 2020, and he pretended to have new evidence—which has largely been debunked—that the integrity of our elections is in peril.
Trump acts like he’s being singled out. That is yet another lie.
In 2022, major broadcast networks did not carry President Joe Biden’s prime-time speech that he also timed to deliver right before the midterm elections, just like Trump.
In 2014, for example, the networks also declined to interrupt their regular programming for President Barack Obama. Reagan had similarly been turned down.
That doesn’t mean the threat to broadcasters isn’t real, though. Trump has stacked the Federal Communications Commission with loyalists who have shown no hesitancy to obediently do his bidding.
For a hilarious send-up on all this, check out TikTok influencer Matt Randolph, a.k.a. @MrGlobal, and his take on it here:
We’ll have to wait for the Todd Blanche vote
The Senate Judiciary Committee held two days of hearings on the nomination of Trump’s former personal attorney to become the nation’s next attorney general.
Todd Blanche has had “acting” before his title ever since he replaced Pam Bondi, who was fired earlier this year.
During his testimony, Blanche referred to himself as still being Trump’s personal lawyer, which was a slip, he said. A Freudian slip, actually.
The Judiciary Committee is scheduled to vote on July 30.
Fort Lauderdale cops hire psychic consultant
Police in Fort Lauderdale are paying a psychic $1,500 to help them investigate the cold case of a missing 15-year-old girl who disappeared in 2017.
“Psychic profiler and medium” Alejandra Tabor offered her services to see what happened to the girl, and the cops have taken her up on it, hiring her on a 90-day contract, according to the Miami Herald.
Military needs more testosterone
So says Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, who has launched a screening program to ensure that the men and women in the armed services are sufficiently “vigorous.”
Whether from anabolic steroid use or testosterone replacement therapy, too much of the hormone can lead to severe acne, hair loss, sleep apnea, moodiness, blood clots and heart issues.
Meme of the Week
Quote of the Week
"The Attorney General of the United States is supposed to defend the American people, not the president. Todd Blanche has made his priorities clear—and they are disqualifying."
— Democratic Party official statement
Letter of the Week
If there are enough idiots in this country to be hoodwinked by Donald Trump and his lackeys AGAIN, we, and the world, are truly in Deep Trouble. VOTE, and get everyone you know to vote, as if the life of our democracy depended on it. This time it really may.
— Nancy
Looking Ahead
When I’m not writing this newsletter, I also scribble a current events column for Florida Weekly. You should check it out. Here are some snippets, from there and elsewhere, to help guide your week ahead.
July 19. The World Cup championship game between Spain and Argentina is today. Game time is 3 p.m. E.D.T.
July 20. Moon Day. It was on this day in 1969 that astronaut Neil Armstrong, having rocketed to space from Florida, became the first person to walk on the moon.
July 21. Invite an Alien to Live With You Day. Neil Armstrong tried to bring one home from the Moon but was intercepted by ICE agents. The whereabouts of the alien are a government secret.
July 22. Ratcatcher’s Day. The Pied Piper of Hamelin used a flute to rid the village of rodents, but, when he wasn’t paid, turned his musical gifts on the town’s children and lured them away forever. Somehow this has turned into a day honoring pest control people.
July 23. Vanilla Ice Cream Day. You’ve heard the expression “plain vanilla.” It’s supposed to mean dull. But true ice cream aficionados know that vanilla is the BEST flavor of ice cream.
July 24. Tell an Old Joke Day. Here’s one: What’s the prize old people can win for aging? Atrophy.
July 25. Threading the Needle Day. This is about the virtues of precision and patience, not pushing a camel through the eye of a needle.
July 26. World Tofu Day. It was invented by the ancient Chinese. However, whipped avocado and tofu’s first sighting on a menu was in Australia in 2015.
July 27. Take Your Houseplants for a Walk Day. It’s also Take Your Pants for a Walk Day. I’m combining both into a stroll around the ‘hood.
Last Week’s Tropic Press headlines
In case you missed it, here are some of the stories that headlined Tropic Press this past week. Click on the headlines to read the stories.
Fact-checking Trump’s lying diatribe about election security
If Donald Trump had his way, his new title would sound like ‘Sickness’
Is Trump about to ramp up efforts to undermine our elections?
You have questions, we have answers about Trump’s slush fund a Miami judge just trashed
BREAKING NEWS: Miami federal judge rebukes Trump’s self-dealing slush fund
BREAKING NEWS: Sen. Lindsey Graham is dead at 71 after ‘brief and sudden illness’
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With mid-term elections on the horizon, the more people we reach, the more effective we can be in helping turn our state and this country around. You can play a vital role in that effort.
Thanks.
J.C. Bruce
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Hedgehog REALLY wants to exclude ALL WOMEN from the military! The damn fool thinks that battles are still fought with swords and spears!
Somehow, ranking DumbfTell with “all children everywhere” is all wrong. He does not fit in their company. They do not have his character - at least I wish that not one of them is so stricken. Appropriate award other-wise.